
Class JiJESlSJa. 



\ 



Copyright^' 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



Campbell's Commercial 
Correspondence 



The Art of Modern 
Business Letter Writing 



By 



H. DEAN CAMPBELL 

H 

Instructor in the Los Angeles Business College 



CITIZEN PRINT SHOP 
Los Angeles 






COPYRIGHT 

1918 

H. DEAN CAMPBELL 

A\\ Rights Reserved 



JUN 10 1918 
©CI.A497660 



PREFACE 

This book was evolved from my lectures in correspondence. 
The failure of much commercial correspondence to accomplish 
any definite result is made more conspicuous by a careful study 
of really efficient work in that line. The need of some book 
which would bring out some of the common faults and which 
would show some of the common remedies, seemed essential in 
conducting successful classes in business correspondence. 

The material for the book was gathered from far and wide. 
Good ideas, that came from letters themselves, or poor ideas, 
which seem to be far more numerous, were selected and an- 
alyzed from time to time, until the definite plan of the book 
took shape. The emphasis upon the sales letter is made for 
two reasons. First, the sales letter is becoming a more impor- 
tant factor in American business than ever before. Second, the 
sales letter requires much greater thought, much clearer expres- 
sion, and much more forceful emphasis than does the ordinary 
routine letter. If the student can be taught to write a success- 
ful sales letter, no phase of commercial correspondence will 
prove difficult. 

The value of teaching correspondence can hardly be over- 
estimated. The average student detests writing the English 
language. Composition, rhetoric and the various allied subjects 
seldom arouse any great interest in any but the exceptional 
student. 

Business correspondence, because it is particularly practical, 
ia studied with a great deal of interest by students who for- 
merly had almost an antipathy for any form of composition. 
The value of interesting the student in any subject is perfectly 



obvious. The value of teaching a subject which interests and 
which offers a field which is far more comprehensive than it at 
first seems, is of course doubly valuable. 

The writer wishes to acknowledge his indebtedness to the 
many little pamphlets issued by the B. F. Goodrich Co. These 
little booklets are practical and purposeful. They are indeed 
the forerunners of a real change in the methods of commercial 
correspondence. I also wish to express my gratitude to Mr. 
J. E. Owen and to Mr. C. Weston Clark for the many helpful 
criticisms which they have proffered at all times. To every one 
whose helpful criticism has improved the book, the author is 
deeply indebted. To the young stenographers who have so 
capably taken and transcribed the notes of this first edition I 
am very grateful. 

H. DEAN CAMPBELL. 

Los Angeles, California, May 1, 1918. 



CONTENTS 

CHAPTER PAGE 

I. INTRODUCTORY 11 

Will the letter get results? 12 

The letter writer's requirements 13 

II. THE LETTER FORM 15 

Block and military forms 15 

The parts of a letter 17 

The envelope 25 

III. PLANNING THE LETTER 28 

The beginning of the letter , 30 

Clearness 30 

Conciseness 32 

The ending . 35 

IV. THE BUYING LETTER 39 

The importance of details 42 

V. SALES LETTERS 44 

The analysis of customers 45 

Psychology of sales 46 

Getting the attention 49 

Holding the attention 53 

Persuasion 54 

The close of the sales letted 55 

Answer to inquiries 57 



CHAPTER PAGE 

VI. THE ADVERTISING LETTER 59 

(Sales Letters Continued) 

"You" interest 66 

Follow-up letter 69 

Advertising announcements 72 

VII. LETTERS OP APPLICATION 74 

VIII. COLLECTION LETTERS 84 

The follow-up series of collection letters 87 

IX. LETTERS OF COMPLAINT 92 

Letters to business houses 92 

Letters adjusting complaints ... 97 

The tone of the complaint letter 99 

X. MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 101 

Avoid the hackneyed phrase 106 

Writing telegrams Ill 

XI. THE FRIENDLY LETTER 114 

The friendly advertising letter 115 

XII. WHY STUDY CORRESPONDENCE ? 118 



Campbell's Commercial 
Correspondence 



<s> 



Chapter I 
INTRODUCTORY 

Business The success of the modern business depends to 
Letters a great extent upon its correspondence. In many 

Important businesses the sole contact with the outside busi- 
ness world is made by means of the business let- 
ter. Many companies depend entirely for new business upon 
sales letters. Railroads and large corporations resort to the 
business letter to establish communication between the vari- 
ous branches of their widely scattered divisions. The business 
letter plays almost as important a part in the average busi- 
ness as does the telephone. 



Letter A great proportion of the business men of today 

Writing received their elementary training in business 

Must Be schools. The burden of preparing men and 
Taught women to carry on the important function of 

correspondence, rests upon the business school, 
therefore. Unfortunately the business school has not always 
taken the lead in introducing modern ideas into its courses in 
correspondence. Rather, business men, having found their 
equipment wholly lacking when confronted with actual prob- 



12 CAMPBELLS COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

lems in correspondence, have gradually changed their ideas 
and their methods for writing letters. The business student 
must be taught modern methods in correspondence to meet 
the needs of a modern business age. 

It is the duty of the business school to prepare students 
for work, not in a theoretical manner, but in a practical one. 
To use a trite expression, the business school graduates of 
today are the business men and women of tomorrow. Obvi- 
ously, the business school must take the lead and thoroughly 
equip its students in every department of modern business 
practice. The study of correspondence is a necessary part of 
all business training. 

WILL THE LETTER GET RESULTS? 

This book is designed especially for use in schools which 
aim to make their students better business correspondents. It 
is unreasonable to suppose that if business has made progress 
in the last twenty years the methods used in correspond- 
ence twenty years ago would suffice today. The needs for 
result getting letters, and the various methods of getting these 
results, will be discussed in the chapters that are to follow. 

Every Back of every letter that is written, there will 

Letter Has always be one fundamental idea that the writer 
a Basic wishes to convey. The success or failure of any 

Idea letter, therefore, will depend entirely upon 

whether that idea is successfully transmitted. 
A conspicuous failure of many so-called Business Correspond- 
ence Texts has been the fact that the excellence of the vari- 
ous specimens contained, was judged solely upon whether 
or not they were actual letters. Many writers have believed 
that if a letter were sent through the mails by a business 
firm of standing, that that made it a good business letter. 






INTRODUCTORY 



13 



Will the It is not the contention that every letter in this 
Letter text-book has been sent through the mails. A 

Bring great many of them have been tried out and have 

Results proved to be successful, result-getting letters. The 
real basis for judging any letter, however, must 
always be: Will this bring results? That must be the in- 
evitable test of every business letter. 

THE LETTER WRITER'S REQUIREMENTS 

Study of Proper training for writing letters is impor- 

Composition tant. Any attempt to take up the study of 
Should Be modern business correspondence without a 

Made thorough preparation in the fundamental 

principles which underlie all composition, is 
likely to result in failure. This text-book is not designed as 
a course in business English. It is expected that the princi- 
ples of English and of English Grammar have been mastered 
before the student takes up the study of the business letter. 
A working knowledge of grammar and of composition or 
rhetoric is necessary. The principles of unity, emphasis, and 
coherence should be well in hand before proceeding with the 
study of letters. 



Common Letter- writing is not difficult. Its principles are 
Sense the chiefly those of common sense. While grammar 
Governing and composition are important, the student will 
Rule do well to remember that grammar and composi- 

tion are simply means to an end. A thorough 
knowledge of all the rules that one might find in an English 
Grammar will avail nothing unless the student appreciates 
the fact that all rules are intended for a purpose. That pur- 
pose is the ability to express oneself with force and concise- 
ness. The principles of composition — unity, coherence, and 



14 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

emphasis, are also intended not as an end in themselves, but 
as a means toward a greater end — the ability to write well. 
The rules of grammar will save the student from glaring 
errors. The principles of composition will save the student 
from rambling, purposeless, and ineffective discourse. 

Letter a Letters must be something besides specimens of 

Substitute either composition or grammar, however. As has 
for the been suggested before, the question of results is 

Personal always the final test. It will be seen that the 
Interview ordinary letter may conform to all the known 
rules of composition and still fail. The real 
difficulty will sometimes be seen to be a lack in a more or 
less intangible quality known as personality. The failure of a 
great many letters lies in the fact that they are nothing but 
letters. Successful letter-writers are always those whose let- 
ters, while perfect in form, contain something of themselves. 
The writer should always remember that in so far as pos- 
sible, his letter is aimed to take the place of a personal inter- 
view. Otherwise it would not be written. To show how this 
may be done will be the object of this text. 



Chapter II 

THE LETTER FORM 

Letters While we shall endeavor to avoid stereotyped Ian- 
Have guage in our business letters, the mechanical make- 
Set up of the letter, with but one or two variations, has 
Forms remained much the same for the last quarter of a 
century. Perhaps it is well to recognize that the 
set form of a letter is not without its value. Business men 
have become accustomed to one particular type of letter, and 
a letter which varies too much from this standard type de- 
tracts from, rather than adds to its value. 

BLOCK AND MILITARY FORMS 

Block Block forms are undoubtedly very artistic, 

Forms but general appearance cannot always be con- 

Not sidered to any great extent. Block forms 

Recommended originated, because, from the stenogra- 
phers ' viewpoint, they were very conven- 
ient. But block forms are fast being discarded. The main 
reason for this is probably the fact that they are not so easily 
read. From earliest childhood we have been accustomed to 
recognize paragraphs by an indentation. It is the signal for 
which we watch in everything that we read. Because a uni- 
versal change in the form of the paragraph in all reading mat- 
ter, whether books or stories, would have been too revolution- 
ary, the block form has not taken a very firm hold on the 
business world. In the last year the percentage of blocked 
forms has decreased remarkably. 



16 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



Johnson & James Co. 
415 Front Street 
Chioago, Illinois 

Gentlemen : 

I regret that I must again call your atten- 
tion to the unsatisfactory results that my 
oustomers have had with your XXX House Paint. 

There seems to be a general complaint that 
the paint spreads very hard, and that after 
it has been exposed to the sun, it shows num- 
erous blisters; in some cases it has peeled 
off. I have investigated the matter very 
carefully myself, and know that the complaints 
are well founded. 

In quite a few cases, I have been compelled 
to furnish other products, and to stand the 
expense of having the work done over. This 
is not profitable business. It does not in- 
crease my reputation for handling goods of 
the best quality. 

Unless you can give me some assurance of a 
marked improvement in the quality of this 
paint, it will be necessary for me to cancel 
all orders for future shipment. 

Your 8 truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 1 

This illustrates a blocked form. Sometimes, for advertising letters, 
or letters which are intended to be somewhat novel in appearance, this 
form can be used. 

It is, of course, a time saver for the stenographer, but because 
it is somewhat more difficult to read, it is not recommended for every 
day use in an office. 

If it is used, however, notice that the block idea should be carried 
out consistently, so that there are no indentations at all. The para- 
graphs are shewn by the double spaces. 



THE LETTER FORM 17 

Combinations of the old form and the new block type 
should be rarely used. If the blocked idea is to be used, it 
should be carried out consistently. In the illustration shown, 
we have a specimen of a thoroughly blocked letter. It is not 
recommended for every-day business correspondence. 

Military "War has brought out another form which is likely 
Farm to be used a great deal in the future. It is not a 

new idea, because several large corporations have 
used it for some time. Many writers; have felt a need for some 
statement that would give an idea of the contents of a letter 
without the necessity of reading the letter completely. This 
can be accomplished very neatly by placing the subject of 
the letter before the complimentary address, or rather as a 
part of the complimentary address. In the accompanying 
illustration we havei the type commonly used by the Govern- 
ment today, especially in the "War Department. It enables the 
reader to see at a glance what the letter is about without the 
necessity of carefully reading the contents. 

THE PARTS OF A LETTER 

The different parts of a letter should be studied with care, 
because each has its own particular function. A letter can be 
roughly divided into six main divisions : 

1. Heading 

2. Complimentary Address. 

3. Salutation. 

4. Body. 

5. Complimentary Close. 

6. Signature. 

Most business firms, of course, have the heading of the 
letter printed upon their stationery. It may contain not only 



18 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

the name and address of the firm, but any information 
as may be deemed advisable to include. The date, of course, 
must always be inserted by the stenographer. If more than 
one sheet is required for a letter, a "second sheet' ' without 
the printed letter head should be used. 

The complimentary address is important. It is much the 
same as the address which appears on the envelope. It con- 
tains: 

1. The name of the person to whom the letter is addressed. 

2. The address to which the letter is sent. 



From: Office, Aviation Examining 

Board, Los Angeles, Cal. 

To: Bert L, Packer 

Subject: Application for staff Commis- 
sions in Branches of the Army 
other than the Signal Corps 

1. You are advised that flying 
candidates of draft age, on inactive duty, 
cannot apply for staff commissions in any 
branch of the army other than the 8ignal 
Corps without first obtaining their discharge 
from the Aviation Section of the Signal En- 
listed Reserve Corps. 

Captain, 8.R.C., a. 8. 
President 

Specimen Letter No. 2 

This illustrates the form of letter used in government military 
correspondence. It has the advantage of having an outline of the whole 
letter at the beginning. This eliminates the necessity of reading the 
letter before ascertaining its contents. The application of this idea 
will be discussed later in the chapter on the detail letter. 

It will be noticed that there is no salutation included. The reason 
for this is that this is an actual reproduction. It was addressed to 
the writer with the rank of private. The military Sir is therefore 
omitted, as the letter was written by a commissioned officer. 



THE LETTER FORM 19 

It is important that a man should always be addressed as 
nearly as possible as he signs his name. The complimentary 
address is usually written in three lines, and it is well to note 
that even in quite lengthy addresses, more than four lines 
■hould never be used. 

421 South Pepper Street 
Los Angeles., Calif. 
Deo- 21, 1918 

National Pecan Growers 1 Exchange 

Dallas, Texas 
Gentlemen: 

Please give us your quotations on pe- 
cans, shelled and unshelled, and send sam- 
ples. When quoting, please include our 
brokerage . 

We have several prospective buyers, 

and we think we could sell a car or two 

for you. 

Yours truly, 

JOHNSON BROS. 

General Commission Brokers 



By~ 



H. G. Meyers; AC 



jty> 



Specimen Letter No. 3 

This letter illustrates two things. It will be noticed that the sig- 
nature is typed out in the lower left hand corner. This idea is of 



20 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

great value to the reader, when it happens that the writer's signa- 
ture is somewhat illegible. When the correspondence is between two 
strangers, it makes it unnecessary for the reader to decipher an 
illegible signature and insures that the reply will be directed to the 
proper person. 

Notice also that this is written on paper which has no letter 
head. The address, the city, the state, and the d&te, must be typed 
in by the stenographer. Notice the even indentation of both the head- 
ing and the complimentary address. 

The commas at the ends of lines have also been omitted. 



Correct The use of a man's correct title is important. The 

Title most common title will be for the average person, 

Should Be Mr., Mrs., or Miss, as the case may be. A Doctor 
Used of Medicine may be addressed as Dr., or his name 

may be written with the proper degree following, 
as: James H. James, M. D. It the latter title is used, 
then the title of Dr. preceding the name must be omitted. 
The following are some of the commonly used degrees: 

Doctor of Philosophy Ph. D. 

Doctor of Medicine M. D. 

Doctor of Laws LL. D. 

Doctor Dental Surgery. . D. D. S. 

The degree, B. A., because it is so common, is seldom used. 
An attorney is usually addressed as Esquire, abbreviated to 
Esq., after the name. Such titles as Reverend, Honorable, or 
Captain, should not be abbreviated, although they commonly 
appear abbreviated in newspapers and elsewhere. The title 
Professor, should be applied, not to school teachers in general, 
but to those whose standing in collegiate circles gives them that 
title. 

The salutation is another form to which we must adhere. 
There has never been found a better way of opening a letter 
than by the trite Dear Sir or My dear Sir. Although such 



THE LETTER FORM 21 

salutations are comparatively meaningless, it is necessary to 
adhere to them very strictly. 

My dear Sir The most common form of salutation is Dear Sir; 
More Gentlemen is used if more than one man is ad- 

Formal dressed ; Dear Madam or Mesdames is used if the 

letter is addressed to one or more ladies respec- 
tively. Contrary to general opinion, the salution, My dear Sir, 
is more formal than Dear Sir ; so that arranged in the order of 
their formality, we have: Sir, My dear Sir, Dear Sir, and 
Dear Mr. Jones. Sir is practically obsolete except in govern- 
ment or military correspondence, where it is still used with 
propriety, especially in letters of more or less formal or mili- 
tary character. 



Mrs. James Farley 
221 West 6th St. 
Los Angeles, Cal. 



Specimen No. 4 

This is the block type of address. It is a, tima saver for the 
stenographer, but like the block form of letter is not recommended. If 
the block type is used, however, the blocked! idea should be carried 
out on the envelope like this. 



22 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



Ur. U. k. U&nning 
Riverside 

California 



Specimen No. 5 

This is the common form of indentation to be used where no 
street address is given. The indentation is five spaces, but may be 
increased if necessary, providing the indentations are the same 
throughout. 

Firms composed of both men and women, are usually ad- 
dressed as Gentlemen. 



Close It is important that the complimentary closing 

Corresponds should correspond in formality with the saluta- 
With tion. If Sir has been used, Yours respectfully 

Salutation should be found as the complimentary close. 

Such a close is seldom found anywhere else. 
The forms: Yours truly, Truly yours, Very truly yours, or 
Yours very truly, may be used with either Dear Sir or My 
dear Sir, or with Gentlemen, Dear Madam, or Mesdames. Cor- 
dially yours, Yours sincerely, Most sincerely yours, Yours 
most sincerely, are usually found when the name of the man 
addressed appears in the salutation, as Dear Mr. Jones. Such 



THE LETTER FORM 23 

closings are also used when the letter is extremely informal 
or friendly in character. 

All of these different forms are, of course, quite meaning- 
less. We adhere to them simply because no better way of 
beginning or closing a letter has been found. 

Signature The signature should be legible. A well-written 
Should be signature is a courtesy which every reader of a 
Legible business letter has a right to demand. The 

slovenly, illegible signature is one which does as 
much as anything else to discredit an otherwise well-written 
letter. A clear, forceful signature adds character to the letter. 







Vk. 


Harold James 
Coalinga 

California 


468 


Sunset 


Ave. 





Specimen No. 6 

This style is the one recommended by the United States Govern- 
ment for ordinary correspondence in which a street address must be 
included. This is placed in the lower left hand corner as shown. 

The commas at the ends of lines have been omitted in all the ad- 
dresses because the commas are not necessary to make the matter 
clear. It is not necessary to include them. The general effect of the 
address is better without the commas. 



24 



CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



• .•.•MMA«f*.p»c*iMirr 

C WIITON CLAMM, • ••v. 
*. ■■ OWMWW MI M — ■ 
i.o\(i«e T»n.v..«»«.»Ti»jai 

MAIM Stl« 

r *i*« 



LosAngcles Business College 



CO»»0»ATtO l«»0 




AFriUATCO 
WITH MCAUT9 

• usiness cotxeoct 

AGENTS 0^ 
THE STCHOTVP» 
COMPANV 






April 19, 1918 



Mr. R. M. Young, Principal 
Young 1 8 Business School 
Cleveland, Ohio 

Dear Mr. Young: 

This letter will introduce Mr. James 
King, who is looking for a position as 
instructor in your Bookkeeping Department. 

Mr. King has had a long and success- 
ful experience in this work with the busi- 
ness colleges of the Southwest. During the 
past three years, he has had charge of our 
Bookkeeping Department and his work has 
proved highly satisfactory. I can vouch for 
his integrity and ability in all branches 
of commercial work. 

I shall consider it a personal favor if 
you can help him in any way. 

Yours sincerely, 



-^^/Jl^^ 



Specimen Letter No. 7 

This shows a letter correctly placed on a letter head. The date 
is the only thing in the heading that must be put in by the steno- 
grapher. Care in placing a letter increases its general appearance. 
Letters which are not well placed call attention to this fault, and thus 
detract from their effectiveness. 

A legible signature Is a valuable addition to any letter. 



THE LETTER FORM 25 

Many men have a signature which is naturally hard to read. 
In such cases it is a very excellent idea to include the full 
name of the dictator, instead of his initials, in the lower left- 
hand corner. When the correspondent is a stranger, this 
avoids the possibility of confusion and also establishes the 
identity of the writer. Notice how this is done in the specimen 
letter No. 3. 

THE ENVELOPE 

The envelope should be addressed in such a way as to in- 
sure its arrival at the proper destination. Like the compli- 
mentary address, it should contain the name and title of the 
person addressed, the street and number of his residence or 
place of business, and the city and state. The address should 
never contain more than three lines ; if additional information 
is necessary, it is usually placed in the lower left hand corner 
of the envelope. The name of the State should not be on the 
same line as the name of the city. By placing the Street ad- 
dress in the lower left hand corner, it is usually possible to 
avoid placing the name of the state in the same line with the 
name of the city. 

The three specimen envelopes illustrate the most acceptable 
types for addressing envelopes. The style should be the same 
as for the complimentary address in the letter, 

Indentation As in the letter, the block type may save a few 
Should be seconds for the stenographer, but it is doubtful 
Regxdar if this type is an improvement upon the prop- 

erly indented form. The indentation should be 
regular, usually about five spaces on the typewriter, without 
regard to the end of the line. 



26 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Commas It will be noted in the specimen letter that the 
Omitted commas at the ends of lines in the heading and 
at Ends complimentary address have been entirely omitted. 
of Lines The commas have also been omitted on the en- 
velope. There are two reasons for this. In the 
first place, commas should be used to make the reading more 
clear, and certainly they are not necessary for this purpose in 
these places. In the second place, time is saved by their omis- 
sion, because the number of strokes on the typewriter thus 
saved by a busy stenographer is countless. 

Neat The mechanical make-up of a letter, of course, 

Make-up will depend a great deal upon the stenographer. 
Important Any rules which are offered must be regarded not 
as infallible guides to form, but rather sugges- 
tions which may perhaps have to be modified from time to 
time. Let it be remembered that the success of the letter in 
a large measure, depends upon its appearance. The slovenly 
letter has no place in the correspondence of today. Neatness, 
carefulness in punctuation, in spelling, in grammar, are factors 
which are entirely within the control of the stenographer. 

The arrangement of the letter on the page must necessarily 
be left to the stenographer. Any arrangement which presents 
the best appearance as a whole, is the best arrangement. 
Margins, with the letter carefully placed on the page are es- 
sential. Never must the stenographer fail to adjust the size of 
the letter to the page. Letters which are too close to the top, 
or too close to the bottom, are annoying to the reader. 

Specimen letter No. 7, contained in this chapter, should be 
studied with care. Each of the six different parts of the letter 
are well illustrated. While, because of their varying size, 
all letters cannot be similarly placed, note the balance 
of the letter on the page. Note the omission of the commas 



THE LETTER FORM 27 

at the ends of the lines in the complimentary address; and 
notice that the complimentary close corresponds in form with 
the salutation. A weakness in any of the parts of a letter 
means a weakness in the letter as a whole. 



Chapter IH 

PLANNING THE LETTER 

Must be Good letters are not written by accident. They are 
Must be the result of definite plans. Each letter has its 
Planned fundamental purpose; it must be planned with that 
fundamental idea always in mind. The sales letter 
must sell goods; the collection letter must collect money; the 
letter of application must get a position. The careless letter 
is not likely to achieve any of these results. 

There are four general characteristics of a well planned 
letter. In the first place it is well begun; in the second place 
it is clear; in the third place it is concise; and in the fourth 
place it is well ended. 

The The paragraph is the greatest aid that the writer 

Paragraph of a well planned letter can have. It serves two 
widely different purposes. In the first place a 
letter which is divided into paragraphs presents a much more 
pleasing appearance than does the letter which is not indented. 
Since the appearance of any letter depends upon the arrange- 
ment of its paragraphs, typographical composition of a letter 
cannot be given too much attention. Too many short para- 
graphs or a combination of extremely long and extremely 
short paragraphs is to be avoided. 

In the second place, the paragraph is the signal that a new 
idea is being taken up. Originally, of course, the paragraph 
was indented to make the reading easier, as the indentation 
afforded a momentary rest for the eye. Naturally enough, it 






PLANNING THE LETTER 29 

became customary to make separate paragraphs complete com- 
positions in themselves. 

The writer must not forget, however, that although each 
paragraph is developing its own idea, it must be an idea which 
contributes to the fundamental idea of the letter as a whole. 
The paragraph must be devoted to one idea, but that one idea 
must be an integral part of the letter. 

Paragraph The paragraph must be developed in a logical 
Must be order. It should have a topic sentence which 

a Unit conveys in a general way the idea which the para- 

graph is trying to develop. The sentences must 
be arranged logically and naturally, so that the paragraph is 
clear, well balanced and forcible. If this is done, the common 
occurrence of finding two ideas, somewhat separated in thought, 
in the same paragraph, will be avoided. If these ideas are 
vital to the success of the letter as a whole, they should be 
treated in separate paragraphs. 

A letter should be planned by paragraphs. The failure of 
most letters is not so much that the writer does not have his 
ideas fairly in mind, but rather that he does not have his ideas 
so arranged that he can present them in the most logical and 
forceful manner. A careful consideration of the things that one 
wishes to say is helpful. A proper arrangement of those ideas 
is vitally necessary. 

A great aid in writing effective business letters is never to 
attempt to write too many things in one letter. If one has two 
important things to say, the best rule is to write two letters. 

The paragraphs are, therefore, the foundation blocks of a 
letter. Misplace one and the whole structure is likely to 
crumble. They play an important part in producing a letter 
which is well begun, which is clear and concise, and which 
is well ended. 



30 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

THE BEGINNING OF THE LETTER 

First The beginning and ending of a letter, as well aa 

Paragraph clearness and conciseness, depend upon a logical 
Important and natural arrangement of the paragraphs. The 
first paragraph must be interesting. Many let- 
ters are cast aside unread, simply because the first paragraph 
contains nothing which really interested the reader. It must 
not only be interesting, however, but must introduce the sub- 
ject of the letter in a direct and natural way. Letters some- 
times fail because they are only interesting and nothing else. 
The minute they commence the business part of the letter, 
they cease to be interesting. 

For instance, notice the difference in the two opening para- 
graphs in Dictaphone sales letters: 

Have you ever been kept away from your golf 
game because you had a great many letters to 
dictate? 

Although this is not essentially a bad beginning, the idea 
of the dictaphone is not included. The thing that the letter 
aims to sell is not mentioned until later on. If the letter had 
commenced: 

Do you know that if you had had a Dictaphone 
you could have played golf yesterday afternoon? 

we would have had a much better beginning. Not only would 
the letter have proved interesting but it would have accom- 
plished its purpose of introducing the Dictaphone. This idea 
will be discussed further in the chapter on the sales letter. 

CLEARNESS 

Clearness Good paragraphing helps to make a letter clear 
a Courtesy for two reasons. In the first place the para- 
graphs form natural subdivisions of the thought 
which the letter contains. And in the second place, if the 



PLANNING THE LETTER 31 

a«tiaii«ftt 

Your favor of the 4th mat*, Has coas 
to us very much in the nature of a great sur- 
prise, for we had not the remotest suspicion 
that any confusion had happened in the exe- 
cution of your. order; but upon investigation 
we have discovered that your failure to re- 
ceive the quality of goods which you ordered 
is due to a mistake made in our shipping de- 
. partment during a very heavy rush of business 
by which we have been inundated for the past 
ten days. 

In some inexplicable manner, and by a 
rather strange coincidence, the exact quan- 
tity of goods of an inferior quality which 
had been ordered by another customer found 
its way into your package. We very much re- 
gret the occurrence, especially if it has 
subjeoted you to any inconvenience, and we 
have taken prompt* measure to rectify the 
error by shipping you the goods called for 
in your order, and for which the prices in 
our invoioe are correct. 

We appreciate very much the disposition 
which you so courteously manifest to dis- 
pose of the inferior goods, shipped in error, 
and save us the expense of return freight. 
Fully confiding in your ability to dispose 
of the goods at the best possible prices, we 
will, if agreeable to you, commission you to 
dispose of them and credit us with the pro- 
ceeds less five per cent commission for your- 
selves. 

Hoping that this arrangement will prove 
entirely satisfactory, and that our apology 
for the mistake may be accepted, we remain, 
with renewed assurances of our highest re- 
gard and respect. 

Yoxlts very truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 8 

This is the first of three letters written about the same subject. 

The first letter is high sounding and rhetorical. The fact that it is 

so verbose makes it dull and uninteresting. The real point of the 

letter has become so obscure that the letter seems to lack sincerity. 



32 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

letter is properly paragraphed, these ideas will be placed in 
a correct relation. The reader has a right to demand that 
his letters will be clear. The average business man does not 
have the time to puzzle out the intricacies of another's faulty- 
diction. Notice how much difference paragraphing really 
makes in a letter. In the letter which is not paragraphed, we 
have none of the concise, clear-cut results that are obtained 
when exactly the same sentences are properly arranged in 
paragraphs. 

There are many evil results of the business letter which 
is not clear. Orders are delayed; salesmen go to the wrong 
place ; goods are tied up on the road ; and the business suffers 
generally. There is only one way to avoid correspondence 
which is not clear. That way is to think clearly. Unless the 
idea is firmly fixed in the writer's mind, he cannot express it. 
If he knows just exactly what he wants to say, the writing 
of the letter becomes an easy matter. All that remains is 
the arranging. 

Reader's The writer should always remember that the 
Viewpoint reader's knowledge of the subject matter may be 
Important much more limited than his own. Terms which 
are perfectly clear to him may be unintelligible 
to his reader. It is always necessary that the writer place 
himself in the position of the reader. If he assumes more 
knowledge than that which the reader may be reasonably 
expected to have, the terms in which he speaks and the ideas 
which he thinks he is conveying are more or less unintelligible. 

CONCISENESS 

Conciseness is important. There are two dangers, however, 
which, one must avoid in trying to be concise. In the first 
place briefness in and of itself is not sufficient. Conciseness 



PLANNING THE LETTER 33 

does not necessarily consist in saying things in few words, 
but in saying what we wish to say with clearness and with 
as much brevity as we can. 

* The second thing which is sometimes the result of attempt- 
ing to be concise is a lack of courtesy. It is difficult to make 
a business letter as pleasant as one can make a personal inter- 
view. The smile, the handshake, are absent. Abruptness in 
a letter, as in an interview, sometimes leaves a bad impression 
upon the reader. 

Conciseness Conciseness is first of all a time saver. The man 
Saves Time who dictates letters that are concise saves many 
hours for himself. An unnecessarily long letter 
requires not only time for its dictation, but time for its trans- 
crip tiou, as well. Much effort will be saved the writer, the 
stenographer, and the reader, if the writer will only appre- 

Gentlemen: 

We regret that a mistake occurred in 
the quality of the goods which we recently 
shipped to you. Our shipping department 
substituted another order for yours, and 
consequently you received goods much in- 
ferior to those which you ordered. Your 
order, correctly filled, has already been 
shipped. You may make any disposal of the 
old order that you choose. We will be 
glad if you would accept bfo commission 
from us on any disposal that you may make. 
We are very sorry that this has occurred. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 9 

This letter, while written on the same subject as letter No. 8, has 
been much condensed. The different points still do not stand out 
as they should. The reason for this is that there are no paragraphs. 
Notice how the lack of paragraphs in even a small letter detracts both 
from the appearance and from the ease with which it can be read. 



34 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 






ciate the fact that unnecessary words take just as much time 
to write and transcribe as do necessary words. 

Of considerable more importance, however, is the fact that 
the reader appreciates conciseness in the letters which he 
receives. Concise letters are intelligent. They show thought 
and preparation. Concise letters speak their message without 
waste of words and yet with force and accuracy. They be- 
speak for themselves a prompt and concise reply. They are 
business-like. 

Notice the first of the three letters. It shows a simple idea 
expressed in a verbose manner. Somehow the letter not only 
lacks sincerity, but it conveys the impression that the writer 
believes in words and not in thought. When we rewrite the 
letter carefully, we see just what is meant by conciseness. We 
have the same ideas contained in the original expressed in a 
business-like manner. We have a letter which, because of its 
conciseness and its clearness, is convincing in a very natural 
and courteous manner. 






Concise Conciseness also commands respect. It must not 

Letters be understood that a letter can always be brief. 

Receive Many times it is necessary for us to spend a 

Attention great many words in conveying the ideas which 
we wish to express. But always the unnecessary 
words, the meaningless phrase, the purposeless paragraph, con- 
vey an idea of shiftlessness. No matter how long the letter, 
the idea which convinces is one which is stated both tersely 
and courteously. Few of the political and patriotic addresses 
of today which cover page after page in all newspapers, and 
which have taken their orators an hour and a half to deliver 
have the power or the eloquence of the Gettysburg Address. 
Clearness and conciseness can be obtained by a proper 
organization of the material. Glittering generalities are worth- 
less. The problem is one of sorting and collecting that which 



PLANNING THE LETTER 35 

is worth while, discarding that which is irrelevant, and arrang- 
ing it in a simple, logical, clear and concise manner, remem- 
bering that the reader, not the writer, is to be the final judge 
of its effectiveness. 

THE ENDING 

Letters The ending of the letter also, to be as great a suc- 
Must be cess as everyone desires it to be, must be something 
Human more than a mechanical masterpiece. Clearness and 
conciseness alone will not make a letter readable. 
It is the human element that makes the letter worth while. 

Perhaps the most important stride in the actual composition 
of letters that has been made in the last few years, is the 
elimination of the participial close of a letter. In the old-fash- 
ioned business correspondence and some of the Parliamentary 
Departments in England today, we find such expressions as : 

Believe me, 

Faithfully yours, 

Your most humble servant, 

In America we find such expressions as: 

Soliciting your further commands, 
We beg to remain, 

Every day we find letters ending in such involved phrases 
that they are really humorous. A certain business firm, upon 
examination of the correspondence which they were sending 
to one firm, found that in one month they had sent nearly 
fifty letters ending with the identical participial close. 

It is not the contention, however, that oft-used or 
old phrases are necessarily bad. In is the contention that 
words and phrases which are unproductive and which do not 
express any of the personality of the writer become, after long 



36 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

usage, not only worthless but harmful. Such endings as these 
are all conspicuous examples of words which are becoming 
absolutely meaningless. 

Thanking you for your past favors, 

Trusting that we shall receive the pleasure of 
supplying your further demands, 

Thanking you again and hoping to hear from 
you soon, 

Trusting that we may have a continuance of 
your valued patronage. 

Sincerely trusting that this will be satisfactory 
to you, 

Gentlemen:- 

We regret that a mistake occurred in 
the quality of the goods which we recently 
shipped to you. Our shipping department 
substituted another order for yours, and 
consequently you received goods much in- 
ferior to those which you ordered. 

Your order, correctly filled, has al- 
ready been shipped. 

You may make any disposal of the old 
order that you choose. We will be glad if 
you would accept &fo commission from us on 
any disposal that you may make. 

We are very sorry that this has oc- 
curred. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 10 

This is the same letter as number 9 except that it has been 
properly paragraphed. Notice how much more effective this letter 
is than either of the others. It is clear, concise and forcible. It is 
a worth while letter. 



PLANNING THE LETTER 37 

Ending The problem, therefore, is to make these ideas or 
Should whatever ideas the writer wishes to convey, stand 
Express out clearly as expressions of what he really believes. 
Sincere The surest way of doing this is to say exactly the 
Belief same thing that one would say to a man if he were 
talking to him on a street corner. If it is necessary 
to put in some word of thanks or some sincere desire at tho 
end of a letter, put it in, but put this hope or desire in straight- 
forward everyday English. It is the lameness of the participial 
ending which kills the idea. Straightforwardness lends char- 
acter, force, and dignity to the whole letter. 

The participial ending is the result of that very difficult 
problem of knowing when to stop. The real difficulty is not 
a difficulty at all. The writer of the letter with a strong force- 
ful ending, has simply stopped when he has concluded his 
statement. In the illustrations given, notice how much more 
business-like are the endings which avoid the lameness of the 
long drawn out participial ending. 

Assuring you that at a more propitious time, 
and under such circumstances as you have set 
forth, we would deem it a great pleasure to ac- 
cede to your request, we are 

Yours truly, 

Better: 

We are sorry that we cannot grant your re- 
quest. 

Yours truly, 

Assuring you that it will afford us great 
pleasure to fill your order, we are 

Yours truly, 

Better: 

We shall be glad to fill your order. 

Yours truly, 



38 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Hoping it may be my pleasure to see you in 
New York at no distant time, and trusting you 
will consider this a standing invitation to make 
my home your headquarters whenever you may 
be in this City, I am 

Sincerely yours, 

Better: 

You are most welcome at my home whenever 
you are in the City. 

Sincerely yours, 

In the last paragraph the writer has his final chance to 
make his appeal so strong that the reader will be persuaded 
to buy or sell, pay his bill, or make an inquiry. Practically 
ninety per cent of the business correspondence today would 
be improved if the writer would not weaken this last chance 
by including a participial close. 

The third of the three specimen letters illustrates the dif- 
ferent points which we have taken up in this chapter. The 
letter is concise, and has few unnecessary words. It is a letter 
which is clear, because it has been carefully planned, and the 
ideas were clear in the writer's mind. The participial ending 
has been entirely omitted. The sentences are clear and brief. 
The main idea of the letter as a whole, is perfectly evident. 
To gain these advantages, moreover, it has not been necessary 
to sacrifice courtesy. The language of the letter is simple, 
courteous but forceful. It typifies the aim of the modern busi- 
ness correspondent. 



Chapter IV 

THE BUYING LETTER 

Buying A great deal depends upon a letter which orders 
Letter goods. Buying letters are not difficult to write, 

Must Be but there are certain details which must not be 
Accurate omitted if the letter is to accomplish its purpose. 
Unless careful attention has been paid to these de- 
tails, mistakes are likely to occur; it is against these care- 
less mistakes in ordering goods that the buying letter is 
directed,, 

Essential There are four essential elements of the buying let- 
Elements ter. First, the goods should be carefully described. 
Mail order houses are very particular to have order 
blanks printed which ask almost every conceivable question 
about the goods. Some of these questions appear unimpor- 
tant. The fact is, however, that it is almost impossible to in- 
clude too much information about anything that one wishes to 
buy. 

Exact Not only should the size, the color, the weight, 

Description the technical description of the article be in- 
cluded, but also the exact number of the articles 
desired. Many times a letter has been written ordering goods 
and the wrong quantity has been shipped. Many times the 
trivial omission of the color wanted has resulted in a loss of 
thousands of dollars. The necessity of giving exact and 
complete details in a buying letter cannot be overestimated. 



40 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Gentlemen: 

The inclosed check for $10.00 is to 
pay for: 

1 pr. Dark Gray wool blankets, 4^ T x7^' 

These blankets were ordered from your 
Spring Catalog, p. 67, but no catalog num- 
ber was mentioned. 

I expect to use them for camping pur- 
poses, so they must be heavy and durable. 

Please ship by express. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 11 

Notice that the three fundamental requirements of a buying let- 
ter are present: a description of the goods, the method of shipment, 
and the method of payment. Notice that the purpose for which these 
blankets are intended is also included. 

Method of Then the method of shipment should be men- 
Shipment tioned. Most mail order houses are particular to 
send their goods the cheapest way. Some buyers, 
however, have particular reasons for washing their goods sent 
some other way. It may be that they want their goods sent 
over a particular railroad. Perhaps they are in a hurry for 
the goods. The writer of the buying letter must remember 
that the firm from which he buys goods cannot always antici- 
pate his desires in the matter of shipping goods. It is not 
always possible for the firm to tell whether he needs 
them immediately, or whether the slowest method of ship- 
ment would be satisfactory. The safe way is always to in- 
clude the method of shipment in the letter. 









BUYING LETTER 41 

Method of Method of payment is also important. Trouble- 
Payment some delays will be avoided if the writer will make 
his intended method of payment clear. A buyer 
should not assume that his credit is good unless he has a stand- 
ing account. Neither should he assume that the firm will send 
goods C. 0. D. simply because he is accustomed to buying his 
goods in that manner. 

It must also be remembered that the buying letter should 
include not only the things which seem necessary from the 
buyer's standpoint, but every circumstance which is of im- 
portance to the seller. A business firm cannot be expected to 
know the usual method of doing business that the individual 
buyer has. It is a great deal more convenient for all parties 
if the buyer will be extremely careful to include all the details 
with regard to the method of payment. 

Gentlemen: 

Please ship by express: 

5000 letter heads 
5000 envelopes 

This order is an exact duplicate 
of our last order, except that the paper 
is to be Hampshire Bond instead of Na- 
tional Bank Bond. The color, weight and 
style of engraving are to remain the same. 

Kindly charge to our account. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 12 

Notice how clearly the articles ordered stand out in this letter. 
No size is given because it is a duplicate order. If this letter is ever 
referred to in the files of any company, the subject matter of the 
letter will be seen at a glance, on account of this indentation. 



42 CAMPBELLS COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Intended The fourth thing which should be included in the 
Use buying letter is a statement of the purpose for 

which the goods were intended. This is not always 
absolutely necessary. Many times, however, when ordering 
goods for a particular purpose, it is well to explain just what 
that purpose is. When this is done, the possibility is eliminated 
of receiving goods which, while technically filling the descrip- 
tion, are not at all suitable for the particular purpose intended. 
Many times, too, the dealer will have goods which are more 
suitable than the ones ordered. 

IMPORTANCE OF DETAILS 

The value of adhering to these different details is great. 
Exact orders mean quickly filled orders, and delays are costly. 
Further than this, it must be remembered that many times it 
is necessary to write another letter to clear up some trivial 
matter which could have easily been included in the original 
letter. Unless the buying letter is complete, unless it precludes 
any further questions, it should not be considered satisfactory. 

Tabulate The articles ordered should also be tabulated. If 
Article the articles are written in this way, with an in- 
Ordered creased indentation, they stand out very clearly. If 
the letter is ever referred to, it is not necessary to 
read the whole letter to find out just exactly what is ordered, 
because it can be seen at a glance. In the specimen letters 
numbers 11 and 12, notice how clearly the articles ordered 
stand out. 

Conciseness While buying letters do not call forth a great 
Commands deal of personality on the part of the writer, it 
Attention is always possible to distinguish the poor let- 

ter writer by his buying letters. It requires care- 
ful thought to write a buying letter which will be complete 



BUYING LETTER 43 

in every detail, and which is at the same time carefully and 
concisely worded. Unnecessary matter in a buying letter 
makes the order that much more difficult to fill. Conciseness 
in the buying letter, as everywhere else, commands attention. 



Chapter V 

SALES LETTERS 

Sales Letter The advance of modern business and the increase 
A Modern of competition has emphasized the need for a 
Form sales letter that will actually sell goods. No 

longer will the mere announcement that certain 
goods are for sale bring an influx of orders. The war, too, 
has made the sales letter more important, because with the 
decrease in the number of available salesmen and the increase 
in the cost of production, business firms have come to the reali- 
zation that a cheaper and a more effective means of selling 
must be developed. 

Because the sales letter is inexpensive, it has been abused. 
The mails have become flooded with all sorts of letters aimed 
to work up more or less worthy mail order propositions. As a 
result of this flood of cheap advertising and selling, many men 
do not pay a great deal of attention to any proposition which 
comes unheralded through the mails. 

For instance, two men were talking in their offices one 
morning about the great number of sales letters which they 
had just received. By way of experiment they examined the 
morning mail which had just been opened and read. It was 
found that one man had received seventeen sales letters, four- 
teen of which were already in the waste basket. The writers 
of these letters had simply wasted postage, paper, printing, and 
energy, sending out a letter which the average man did not 
care to consider. But of considerable more importance is the 



SALES LETTERS 4, r > 

fact that they had actually cheapened their product by send- 
ing out a letter which was really unworthy. 

This illustrates not only the need for the thorough business 
getting letter, but also the necessity of presenting a letter which 
will at least be read before it is cast into the waste basket. The 
extraordinary part of the foregoing illustration is the fact that 
upon a closer examination of the contents of these letters, one 
of the men admitted that he could have been interested in four 
of them if the subject had been introduced in a better way. 
He had tossed the letters aside, with only a vague idea of the 
message which they contained. 

Sales Letter The sales letter, therefore, must make no mis- 
Must takes. If it challenges the reader with a chip 
Convince on its shoulder, its message is lost. If it simply 
entertains him without carrying conviction on 
any point, although no harm is done, a great opportunity has 
been lost. If it pleases, interests, and convinces him, the 
sales letter is an inexpensive salesman, notwithstanding the 
fact that a five or six per cent, return is considered good. 
To write a successful sales letter, of course, one must have 
some knowledge of the fundamental principles of salesman- 
ship. The following are some of the points, used almost every 
day by salesmen, which can be incorporated into most sales 
letters : 

THE ANALYSIS OP A CUSTOMER 

Sales Letter Sales letters should be written to meet the 
Must "Fit" needs of a particular class of people. It is 

The Customer necessary to thoroughly understand the wants 
of the man to whom the sales letter is to go. 
One cannot always pick out a hundred people who will be in- 
terested in any given proposition. It must be remembered 



46 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

that the letter written to the farmer, for instance, is not likely 
to have a very great appeal to the city-bred man, even though 
written upon the same subject. A letter attempting to sell a 
piano to a bachelor farmer is unlikely to bring results, whereas, 
a properly written letter to a man who has one or two children 
may reasonably be expected to elicit an inquiry. On the other 
hand, the letter which would sell a piano to a farmer and his 
wife, might prove perfectly valueless if sent to the city-bred 
family. 

The life insurance agent who can take off his coat and help 
load potatoes will sell much more life insurance to the farmer 
than will the man in chamois gloves. 

PSYCHOLOGY OF SALES 

A thorough understanding of just why people buy anything 
is also important. Why does one man buy an automobile for 
pleasure and another one buy an automobile truck! Why 
does one man put an elaborate heating plant in his house, while 
another man uses only a coal stove ? 

Generally speaking, there are two main arguments which 
appeal to every buyer. We are speaking, of course, of the ulti- 
mate consumer, but the jobber also must take these principles 
into consideration, because his business depends upon the de- 
sire of the public to buy whatever he has for sale. 

Economy The first of these arguments is that of economy. 
Always an Every man is always ready to listen to any propo- 
Argnment sition which will save money. The woman who 
buys gingham aprons usually goes where she can 
get a given quality at the cheapest price. The woman who 
buys Parisian gowns follows exactly the same method. A 
given quality considered, people as a rule, buy where they 
can get that quality the cheapest. 



SALES LETTERS 47 

The man who installs expensive machinery in his factory, 
does so because the cost of production per unit is decreased. 
He spends enormous sums in organizing his factory, installing 
new machinery, and in making his plant generally efficient, 
because these are the means of economy. The man who sells 
automobile tires must do one of two things. He must either 
argue that their original cost is cheaper or that, quality con- 
sidered, the service they will render makes them cheaper in 
the long run. The man who sells overalls emphasizes the fact 
that they will wear longer and are less likely to tear than the 
ordinary overall. He makes this sale because the man who 
wears overalls is willing to pay for added service, which means 
money saved in the long run. 

The second argument which the salesman may use in ap- 
proaching a customer is the argument of convenience. While 
the average person is less susceptible to this argument, never- 
theless it is the foundation argument of many of the greatest 
sales organizations in the world today. 

Convenience Electricity is not particularly economical. 
A Convincing Probably in most cities gas is cheaper for 
Argument cooking. Undoubtedly the old kerosene lamp 

was cheaper for lighting. The electric toast- 
er must overcome the difference between its five-dollar price 
and the five-cent tin toaster of the gas-stove type. The real 
basis of the sale of many of the modern conveniences which 
we have in our homes today, has not been so much a matter 
of economy as a matter of convenience. Goods can be sold by 
use of this argument. That is the reason that electric appli- 
ances have such a wide-spread sale today. 

The surest way to sell anything is to emphasize one of 
these fundamental ideas. Care should be taken, however, that 
the article is emphasized as a means to either economy or 
convenience rather than making either convenience or economy 
an end in itself. 



48 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

In other words the idea of convenience must be closely con- 
neeted with the idea of the electric light. The two ideas must 
be fused so that the prospective buyer really sees that they 
are synonymo 

Customers' The man who sells the automobile truck has 
Needs the double problem of convincing his prospect 

Must Be that his truck is more economical than other 

Analyzed trucks, and that automobile trucks themselves 

are a necessary part of his business. Here again 
see the need of analyzing the wants of the customer. You 
cannot sell an automobile truck to a grocer who makes no 
deliveries. Vou cannot sell one-ton trucks to men who deal 
in coal or boilers or especially heavy machinery. Always, the 
need of the customer must be analyzed to see whether or not 
convenience or economy or both are to be the basic ideas of 
the sale. 

Good The "putting over" idea is wrong. Someone 

Salesmen has very ap>tly said that salesmanship consists 

Sell What in making a man want what he needs. The 
Is Needed ideas and methods of the modern salesman have 
changed considerably in the last few years. 
Formerly, the real salesman was the man who could sell any- 
thing to anyone. Business men have found to their sorrow, 
however, that solid trade cannot be built up by selling people 
what they do not need. 

Salesman no longer attempt to overstock customers or sell 
them things which they know are not easily disposed of to 
the ultimate consumer. The salesman who attempts to "put 
over" any proposition, who attempts to sell for the sake of 
selling, and not to fill any particular need, has no place in 
the business world of today. The problem of the sales letter 



SALES LETTERS 4S 

is not simply to sell people something; it is to convince them 
that they should buy the thing which they need. 

GETTING THE ATTENTION 

First We have already seen how the men who exam- 

Paragraph ined the contents of their waste baskets found 
Must Get many good ideas very poorly presented. Most 
Attention of the letters did not get the attention of the 
reader. In order to succeed, therefore, the sales 
letter must first of all be an attention getter. Some experts 
claim that the letter which does not gain the attention of 
the reader in the first five words is a failure. Perhaps this is 
a little too strong a statement. Certainly, however, the first 
sentence must not only contain enough to center the reader's 
attention, but must interest him as well. 

Attention The great danger of deliberately plotting to 
Must Be catch the attention of a reader, lies in the fact 

Well that we too often get it in some proposition not 

Directed under consideration. A common example of this 

point is found in the numerous real estate of- 
fices in large cities, who crowd their windows with vari- 
ous devices to attract the attention. In one window, for 
instance, will be a monkey playing with a rubber band. The 
failure of this sort of catchy contrivance lies in the fact that 
there is nothing about many of the devices to suggest the 
thing which is for sale. 

In some real estate windows electric brooders have been 
used with good results. The sight of these brooders with sev- 
eral hundred chicks gathered around them has been an imme- 
diate means of disposing of property suitable for chicken 
raising. The fact that this sort of land is for sale was immedi- 
ately suggested. 



50 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Dear Sir: 

You want to select a Gift that is sen- 
sible and practical. Let us give you a 
suggestion. 

What would be more desirable than a 
Conklin Fountain Pen? You will find that 
the smoothness and sureness of this pen 
makes its use unlimited. You will be ap- 
preciated more than ever, because of your 
practical selection. 

You can never have inky fingers with 
the Conklin. We guarantee our "Crescent 
Filler n to be absolutely non-leakable. 

The prices range from $2,50 to 
$150.00. The pen point may be changed 
after Christmas to suit any handwriting. 



Yours •truly, 
Specimen Letter No. 13 
The value of the "you" interest cannot be overestimated. Even 
a fountain pen can be sold if the letter seems to be written directly 
to the reader. At Christmas time this letter would appeal to many 
a buyer because it seems to be interested in his own personal difficulty 
and seems to solve his own particular problem. This letter gets 
away from the billboard style of publicity advertising. 

Whatever device is used in display advertising must always 
suggest that which is for sale. In the opening line of a letter 
the problem is not only to interest the reader, but to lead 
his interest toward the proposition which is under discussion. 
Notice how one writer starts a sales letter for vices addressed 
to a plumber: 

I have a friend who was a plumber. 
The other day he said to me: "That 
new vice that you sold me was the best 
thing I have ever used in all my years 
of experience." 






SALES LETTERS 51 

Any man engaged in any business is interested in what a 
man of his own profession thinks about certain things, and 
when the writer of that letter said, "I have a friend who is 

Dear Sir: 

Have you seen any of the new flat- 
baoked Mandolins? Quite a change in con- 
struction from the old style Mandolins, 
aren't they? 

We are sending you a catalog of these 
new instruments so that you can get a fair- 
ly good idea of the changes that have been 
made. Notice especially the beauty of the 
Artist's Model on page 67. 

The change in construction was not 
made simply to be different, or to make a 
better looking Mandolin. There is a scien- 
tific' reason back of it. You will immed- 
iately notice the difference in tone qual- 
ity and carrying power, over any of the 
old type Mandolins. 

The guarantee on all Gibson instru- 
ments is for life. It covers quality 
and workmanship. No other manufacturer 
will give you that kind of a guarantee, 

I will gladly give you a demonstration. 
Can you be satisfied without at least try- 
ing the best? 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 14 

A considerable amount of explanation can be embodied in a salei 
letter if this explanation is interesting. Notice the beginning of the 
letter. The introductory questions have a point; they do not simply 
ask questions at random, but they immediately connect up the subject 
of the letter. 

The idea of referring to a specific page is always a good one 
when catalogs are included. If the special page is mentioned or 



52 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

referred to in the letter the chances are that the reader will at least 
open the catalog and refer to the page in question. Every effort should 
be made to interest him. Perhaps the catalog will, if the letter doesn't. 
At any rate, a reference to a specific page has a great deal of value. 
The object in this letter, of course, is to get the reader interested 
in the new style mandolin. It has not an immediate sale as its object. 
It does not press the point too hard. A letter like this might well in- 
troduce another more forceful sales letter. 



a plumber," he had the attention of a fellow mechanic. Notice, 
too, how the idea of the vice is introduced. In the very open- 
ing sentence he has not only caught the attention of the 
plumber, but has introduced his subject in such a way that the 
reader is interested in the product which is for sale. 

One of the common means used by correspondents for gain- 
ing attention is the interrogative sentence. The question, to 
be effective, must lead directly to the proposition which is for 
sale. Questions which are too obvious, that is, to which there 
is but one answer, are to be avoided. Such questions as the 
following are not likely to be given much consideration by the 
average business man, because they are too simple : 

You want to save money, don't you? 
You like to sleep well, don't you? 
Do you like to have a good time? 

The questions which bring results are questions which allow 
the subject of the letter to be introduced in a favorable way. 
Such questions as these are more to the point: 

Have you seen our new flat-backed Mando- 
lin f 

Did you know that you could have everything 
for your Thanksgiving dinner sent direct from 
the farm? 

May we help you select your Christmas gifts? 

Of considerable more value, however, than even the care- 






SALES LETTERS 53 

fully chosen question is the straight-from-the-shoulder state- 
ment which accomplishes the double purpose of interesting the 
customer and introducing the subject of the letter. Statements 
like these: 

You should have a safety deposit vault for 
your Liberty Bonds. 

I know just how disagreeable it is to change 
tires. The Weed Chain Jack makes this job twice 
as easy as it used to be. 

Beginning In short, the value of the opening sentence or 
Must sentences depends absolutely upon two things: 

Interest First, does it interest the reader? And second, 

And does it interest him in the real message of the 

Convince letter? Unless it accomplishes both of these 

results, it cannot succeed. The letter which is 
only interesting can never convince. The opening sentence 
which is dull though sound in argument is not likely to be 
read. The opening lines must stand a double test. 

HOLDING THE ATTENTION 

Interest Once having aroused the interest, never must 

Must Be that interest be allowed to lag. The best method 
Sustained of sustaining it is to continue in the personal 
mood in which the letter is started. The failure 
of a great many letters lies in the fact that, although they 
start out with something which is of sufficient interest, they 
only temporarily sustain that interest. Having once at- 
tracted the reader's attention, the personal tone is dropped 
and the letter proceeds in the hackneyed style of the ordinary 
letter. The good beginning is but a flash in the pan and only 
momentarily keeps the letter out of the waste basket. 



54 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

PERSUASION 

Persuade It is not enough to arouse a man's interest in an 
The automobile truck or to convince him that the track 

Prospect would be an economical adjunct to his business. 
To Buy There follows the necessity of persuading him to 
buy. A common method of persuading a man to 
buy is to offer some special inducement. This idea, however, 
has been somewhat overdone. Special thirty-day offers, free- 
trial offers, installment offers, have all been used to such an 
extent that the average prospect ceases to consider them an 
added inducement. The mere offer of credit no longer brings 
results. 

There is another danger, too, and that is the danger of 
cheapening the article by placing it on the level of many 
cheap articles which are sold by clap-trap methods of special 
inducements. The man who appreciates the value of money 
is somewhat disinclined to believe that he is getting full value 
for his money when he can buy a thousand dollar piano for 
ten dollars a month. 

Power of A better way is that straight-from-the-shoulder 
Suggestion suggestion which sums up the argument of the 
Valuable seller and which calls for immediate decision on 

the part of the prospect. Persuasion by sug- 
gestion is also sometimes effective. Suggesting to the auto- 
mobile owner what he can do with his car, suggesting that 
young men come in and try on a hat, are all subtle means of 
placing the prospect in the position of a man who has already 
bought the goods. The man who rides in an automobile is 
more easily convinced of its value than the man who can- 
not be persuaded to take a ride. The man who is willing to 
try on a hat has shown an interest which is a stepping stone 
to the actual sale. 






SALES LETTERS 55 



Dear Sir: 

We can not truthfully say that the 
motor, No. 38XX, would be satisfactory if 
installed in your canoe. 

This little motor is very powerful 
and sturdy, but was designed particularly 
for light skiffs and rowboats. We find 
that the planking in most canoes is so 
very thin that after a year or so of use 
they commence to leak. You know, of 
course, that a leaky canoe is useless. 

Now, although our motor might not 

five you any trouble for a few months, we 
eel "that the constant vibration would 
undoubtedly, in time, shatter the planking 
and we certainly do not want you to run the 
risk of ruining your boat. 

We are inclosing a little pamphlet 
which describes some of the light skiffs 
designed to be operated by our motors. On 
page 27 you will find a boat which is al- 
most as light as your canoe, and yet which 
is strong enough to withstand the slight 
vibration of the motor. We are quite sure 
that this boat would give much better ser- 
vice than would your own canoe. 

We would be very glad to answer any 
further questions which may arifle. 

Yours truly, 



Specimen Letter No. 15 
This sales letter is not aimed to accomplish an immediate sale. 
The firm which writes the letter wished to truthfully answer the ques- 
tions which have been asked by an inquirer. Letters like this are 
valuable to almost any firm because they increase the good will of 
their customers. 

Even if the article is not sold, perhaps the recipient of this letter 



Se CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

will remember, at some future date, that this firm did not attempt to 
sell him something which would prove unsatisfactory. Because he 
appreciates that truthful attitude now, he may later become a valuable 
customer. The idea of being truthful is very important. The sale- 
at-any-cost principles of a few years ago are not good. 

THE CLOSE OF THE SALES LETTER 

The close of the sales letter is doubly important because 
the sales letter fails unless it can persuade the reader to act. 
It is sometimes necessary to add one clinching point at the 
close. Such suggestions as "Mail this card today' ' or "Send 
us the dollar bill now," emphasize the need of action on the 
part of the reader. 

Strong Clinching arguments should be used with dis- 

Ending cretion ; they should be avoided if they show any 

Invaluable tendency to weaken a letter. Only in those cases 
where the ending shows that there is a need for 
some straight-from-the-shoulder statement should they be 
used. It is much better to stop the letter abruptly when it 
is finished than to dilly-dally along with trailing phrases and 
sentences which are aimed to clinch an argument but which 
have hardly force enough to attach themselves to the letter. 
Such endings are useless appendages. 

Specimen A careful study should be made of the different 
Letters letters in this chapter. They illustrate the dif- 

Should Be ferent points of procedure which must be em- 
Studied ployed to get the best results. Notice that they 
arouse interest. Notice that their argument is 
based not only upon facts but upon those facts which appeal 
to the buyer. Facts in themselves are valuable, but unless 
they are facts which appeal directly to the purchaser, the 
sales letter is not very convincing. In short, an automobile 



SALES LETTERS 57 

tire cannot be sold simply because it is red, unless it can be 
shown that the fact that it is red increases its value as a tire. 
The purpose of including specimen letters in this particular 
book must be made clear. The value of any specimen letter 
is not to afford a model for all other letters that might be 
written on the same subject. The real purpose is simply to 
illustrate one satisfactory method for developing a particular 
idea. In writing letters the student must be careful to keep 
these letters original. Letters which are copied or ideas which 
art taken from some one else are likely to lack personality 
and appeal when taken out of their original setting. 

Complete The letter in answer to an inquiry must be writ- 
Answers ten with especial care. The best selling letter 
Needed which answers an inquiry is that letter which 

gives the most complete information. The man 
who writes to ask for information about a book or an engine 
or a piece of real estate is interested first of all in getting his 
questions answered. 

Unless the letter in reply to his inquiry answers all his 
questions completely, it is not likely that he will be prepared 
to listen to arguments telling him why he should purchase. 
Each question should be answered with particular care and 
not until every question has been satisfactorily answered should 
any attempt be made to make a sale. 

Truthful A great many times it will be found that letters 
Answer like these cannot answer the questions of the in- 
The Best quirer satisfactorily. The answer, however, should 
be absolutely truthful. A letter which shows by 
rts straightforwardness that it is truthful, is likely to carry a 
great deal of weight. A sale should never be made by taking 
advantage of a customer's lack of information about any- 
thing. 



58 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

" Telling Sales letters which are answering inquiries must 
Not always be written in simple language. The cus- 

Selling M tomer may not be as well informed about technical 
terms as the writer of the letter. The keynote of 
the letter should be to convey information — "telling, not sell- 
ing," as someone has said — and anything which helps to con- 
vey a clear answer to any question is valuable. 

Take the specimen letter, for instance. Though the man 
never purchases a motor, he is always likely to remember that 
the reply to his letter was truthful, even though it was not 
what he wished. Even though an immediate sale was not 
made, a customer has been found whose business may be more 
valuable in the future than if he had been disappointed the 
first time. 

Principles The study of the sales letter is of value not only 
Of Sales to the student of salesmanship, but to the pros- 
Letters pective letter writer. Successful salesmanship 
Far depends primarily upon making the buyer have 
Reaching 1 confidence in the seller. The sales letter requires 
the greatest amount of convincing proof. If it 
succeeds, it succeeds because the writer of the letter has been 
able to convince some person other than himself of the value 
of the thing which he wishes to sell. 

These principles extend far beyond the sales letter. No 
letter should ever be written that could not stand the tests 
of clearness, conciseness, accuracy, and force, which every 
sales letter must face. If the simplest kind of a letter can meet 
the tests of the sales letter, it is a success. 



Chapter VI 

THE ADVERTISING LETTER 

Sales Letters (Continued) 

Advertising Sales letters) may be roughly divided into two 
Letters great classes. The first is the general class of 

sales letters which aims to sell something with 
which the reader is already familiar. The second class in- 
cludes those letters which may be called advertising letters. 
These are intended not only to sell some product but also 
to explain just what that product is. In other words, part 
of the letter must be devoted to an explanation of just what 
is for sale. 

The letter selling Steer Warms is an example of this sec- 
ond class. It must solve the double problem of explaining 
the proposition very carefully and then of making the sale. 
The explanation must precede the selling part of the letter. 

Proper Usually this sort of a letter is directed to a 

Amount of particular kind of a customer, in order that 
Explanation that explanation may be fitted to a particular 
Important need. The specimen letter is directed to a Doc- 
tor. Naturally his needs are different from 
the average man's. Notice how his interest is gained. Notice 
that once having gained his interest the writer very care- 
fully explains the use, the results, and the price of his article. 
Care must be taken to introduce the proper amount of ex- 
planation. Too much explanation makes the letter read like 
a catalog; consequently it loses interest. Too little explana- 
tion makes the letter lack clearness, 



60 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Advertising Advertising, as applied to the sales letter, must 
Not not be confused with mere publicity. Bill-board 

Publicity advertising, or advertising which seeks to sell 

simply by continually pounding the name of a 
drink, or a gun, or a soap into the public mind, has no place 
in the sales letter. The advertising of the modern magazine 
is in reality nothing but a sales letter, with the exception 

Dear Sir : 

The Security Auto Theft-Signal i9 a 
specially heat treated metal band with a 
pointed hump or spike at the top. It locks 
around the rim and tire of the right front 
wheel. The owner's key, only, can lock or 
unlock it. It is his means of immediate 
identification. No two locks are alike. 

The Theft-Signal is nickel plated, 
highly polished, and when attached to the 
right front wheel, is" moat conspicuous. 

Driving an automobile with a Theft- 
Signal locked around the front wheel 
creates a terrific bumping noise — the big 
point strikes the ground &t each revo- 
lution of the wheel with the entire weight 
and momentum of the car behind it. It is 
a signal to the passerby within sight or 
hearing distance that a^thLef is driving 
the car. 

Whether the thief attempts to remove 
the Theft-Signal or operate the car, the 
result is the same. He shows his hand — 
he is recognized as a thief and arrested. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 16 
The advertising sales letter has a difficult problem. It must do a 
great deal of explaining, and still must interest and convince th« 
reader. This letter is too impersonal to interest and too explanatory 
to convince. Notice the rewritten letter, specimen number 17. 



THE ADVERTISING LETTER 61 

that it does not have the personal appeal of a letter and 
that it cannot analyze the prospect. 

An analysis of newspaper advertisements shows much that 
is of value to the student of business correspondence. News- 
paper advertisements must arouse the reader's interest; must 

Dear Sir: 

The Security Auto-Theft Signal will 
prevent your car from being stolen. One 
thousand automobiles were stolen in this 
city last month. That means that your 
car isn't safe, if you leave it for an 
instant. 

This neat little Theft-Signal locks 
around the rim and tire of the front wheel. 
Your key only, can lock or unlock it. No 
two locks are alike. Your key is your 
identification/ 

We would like to show you this little 
device. It costs only $10.00; and the in- 
surance companies will reduce your premi- 
ums so that the Signal will pay for itself 
in two years. 

Why not avoid all this trouble of look- 
ing for a safe parking place? Why not a- 
void all that worry when the car is out of 
your sight by attaching a Theft-Signal to- 
day? 

Yours truly, 
Specimen Letter No. 17 

Notice how much more convincing this letter is than the first 
letter explaining this theft signal. The main idea that the writer 
wishes to convey is that this theft signal will prevent his car from 
being stolen. 

This is done best of all by showing first, how dangerous an 
unlocked car is, and then by attempting to convince the reader that 
the theft signal will prevent his car from being stolen. It doesn't tell 
in detail how this will be done, but it calls attention to the fact that 



62 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

its cost will be saved in a short time by a reduction in insurance 
premiums. 

This argument is convincing for two reasons: 

In the first place it illustrates the value of the argument based 
on economy; and in the second place, if the theft signal were not 
efficient, insurance companies would not be likely to grant a reduced 
premium. 

In the closing paragraph, note how directly the question of buying 
a theft signal is brought home to the reader. Every car owner is 
troubled to some extent about the safety of his car. The best way to 
sell any kind of theft device is to emphasize the danger, on the one 
hand, and the efficiency of the device in question on the other. 

explain a proposition without tiring him; must persuade him 
that the article for sale is something that he needs. The 
advertising letter has a more difficult problem. It may in- 
clude no cuts or illustrations. If explanatory matter or 
pamphlets are included in a letter, the question of whether 
or not they will be read depends entirely upon how inter- 
esting the letter is. 

Pictures That cuts are not necessary is shown by the fact 
Not that two of the largest advertisers today are actu- 

Necessary ally discarding them and are using the simple, di- 
rect personal appeal of the sales letter in their 
magazine advertising. There are, of course, those who resort to 
the old style of publicity and who use magazines simply to 
print slogans or the trade name of a shampoo or a drink. 
That style of advertising is fast losing its appeal because it 
lacks the personal element. 

Appeal The secret of explaining and of still holding in- 
Must Be terest consists in being able to make the explana- 
Personal tions have personal appeal. In other words, any 
explanation which does not approach a prospect 
in a personal way — which does not make him feel that the value 






THE ADVERTISING LETTER 63 

of any article is one which applies to his own particular case 
loses his interest. 

Dear Sir: 

When you receive a call at 2 o 1 clock 
in the morning and hav§ to crawl out of a 
warm bed to make a drive of 10 or 15 miles, 
your greatest discomfort is the cold. Es- 
pecially does it affect your hands. Once 
your hands are cold your whole body be- 
comes chilled. 

A doctor is entitled to every comfort 
obtainable. Steer Warms keep your hands 
warm while you drive. 

They consist of two neat leather cov- 
ered grips which lace on the steering wheel. 
They are heated by electricity from the 
storage battery or magneto. Steer Warms 
operate on the same principle as the elec- 
tric heating pad, which after reaching a 
oertain heat gets no hotter. 

These grips may be laced on and con- 
nected to' the battery in 5 minutes. The 
oost of maintenance is almost nothing. 
They are guaranteed for 5 years. 

The price of these hand warmers is 
$7.50; specially for Ford Cars, $5.00. 
Your dealer has them in stock. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 18 
The value of analyzing the needs of a particular customer ia well 
illustrated by this letter. Notice how carefully the explanatory matter 
so necessary in advertising letters is brought in. The first paragraph 
interests — interests because it is written particularly to a Doctor, and 
the thing which a Doctor most needs is the thing which will contribute 
to his comfort in cold weather. The explanation very naturally follows. 
A different sort of letter would best suit a truck driver for instance. 
The customer and his wants must be analyzed. 



64 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



Dear 8irr 

I have a friend who is in Congress, 
The other day we were talking about win- 
ning the war, and he said to me: n It isn't 
the question of ships that worries us so 
much as the question of food. We have plen- 
ty of land on which to raise food-stuffs, 
but we haven't got the labor ♦" 

That man saw clearly that the question 
of farm labor is a vital one. The farmer 
can't plant or can't harvest without more 
help. That problem has probably troubled 
you. 

That is Why we want to tell you about 
our Little Giant farm Tractor. You want 
something that will save both time and labor 
on your farm. Anything that will save labor, 
means more food to help win the war. Any- 
thing that will save time means more money 
In your pocket. 

The inclosed booklet tells you just what 
our Little Gia,nt Traotor is like. Will 
you read it over and tell us what you 
think of it? 

Yours truly, 



FIRST SALES LETTER (Follow-up series) 
Specimen Letter No. 19 

The first letter in a sales series can afford to spend a little more 
time in working up to the question of just what is for sale. In this 
letter, notice that two paragraphs are spent with the double purpose 
of interesting the farmer, and impressing him with the value of any- 
thing that will save labor. This first letter will interest him because 
it starts out in a leisurely fashion with a discussion of a subject which 
always interests — war. The question of food, also, is extremely vital, 
even in peace times. Notice the last sentence, a simple request, not 
high sounding, but conversational. The letter paves the way for the 
ones which are to follow. 






THE ADVERTISING LETTER 65 



Dear Sir: 

There are lots of things which save 
money. The trouble is they cost more than 
any reasonable amount that they could be 
expected to save. The Little Giant Tractor 
is different. It would start paying divi- 
dends the minute it rolled on your property. 

I have a friend who told me the other 
day, that he would like to own a tractor, 
but couldn't afford to put a thousand dol- 
lars into one. Yet this same man spends a 
thousand dollars every year keeping up stock, 
every dollar of which the Little Giant would 
save by increased production and low run- 
ning expenses. 

First costs are not necessarily the 
standard which determines actual expenses. 
The Little Giant is designed to give long 
service, and is built so sturdily that the 
cost of the Little Giant is a low one. 

You did not reply to my last letter, 
and yet I feel that you ought to investigate 
the Little Giant. Drop the inclosed card 
and tell us what aftemnaon we can come over. 

Yours truly, 

SECOND SALES LETTER 

Specimen Letter No. 20 

The farmer, as a rule, hesitates to put a great deal of money into 
anything; he is not a ready investor in any new proposition. The 
argument of economy, therefore, is one which must be thoroughly 
impressed upon his mind. This letter is devoted almost exclusively 
to the proposition of economy. The greatest argument against a farm 
tractor — cost — is thus forestalled. 



6« CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

"YOU" INTEREST 

Perhaps the easiest method of bringing home the value 
of anything to the reader is by means of the so-called "You" 
interest. Letters which talk in an abstract manner, which 
treat the reader objectively rather than subjectively, get poor 
results. Letters should be written directly to the reader. 
Formal letters fail to create this much desired personal 
element. 

Dear Sir: 



Our Mr. Jones spent all day yesterday 
on the ranch of a man who, two years ago, 
had absolutely no faith in the farm tractor. 
Today this man owns four of them. 



Jones went over to see at first hand 
*hat that man had done. He plows, harrows, 
sows, reaps, threshes, and hauls his grain- 
to market by means of the Little Giant. As 
Jones puts it, there is nothing that he 
doesn't do with this Tractor. 

As the man himself puts it, he would 
rather sell his farm than go back to his old 
methods of farming. I want Jones to tell 
you about this, because I know that what 
the other man has done, you can do. 

When may he come over? 

Yours truly, 

THIRD SALES LETTER 

Specimen Letter No. 21 

A farmer is always willing to listen to the arguments which are 
based upon results. What his neighbor does, he is willing to try. 
To demonstrate the practicability of the farm tractor as shown by its 
actual performance on other farms, is the purpose of this letter. The 
universal application of the farm tractor to all the farm work is clev- 
erly brought out. 






THE ADVERTISING LETTER 67 



Dear Sir: 



Where are you going to get the labor 
necessary to put in and harvest this year's 
crop? Men are hard to get, yet under the 
hood of every Little Giant you will find 
ten men, and ten teams, always ready and 
willing to go to work. Night or day, rain 
or shine, they are always on the job with- 
out a word of complaint. 

The Little Giant saves labor. 

The Little Giant saves money. 

Our production of Little Giants will 
not be as great as it was last year. We 
just can f t get the kind of material that 
goes into the Little Giant. We can't cut 
down the quality, so we have got to cut 
down the number of machines. 

I know what the Little Giant can do 
for you. I want you to have your machine. 

Mr. Jones is anxious to aee you. He 
will call if you will only sign the in- 
closed card. Do you want him to come over? 

Your 8 truly, 

FOURTH SALES LETTER 

Specimen Letter No. 22 

This letter is more forcible. The question of labor has always 
been pressing on the farm. The saving features of the Little Giant 
Tractor are emphasized in two paragraphs of five words each. The 
quality of the tractor is emphasized by the fact that production has 
been cut down in order to keep up its standard. The last question is 
point blank. It puts the matter squarely up to the prospect. 

Notice that the interest has been sustained in all four letters and 
that the letters gain in force as they progress. Notice that even in 
four letters there has been practically no repetition. 



68 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Abstract The failure of a great many sales letters lies in 

Value Not the fact that value is emphasized in an abstract 
Convincing manner. Everyone recognizes that diamonds 
have value ; so do automobiles ; so does land : so do stocks and 
bonds. But the successful sale must do more than show this 
value. It must show that the value is not a general quality, 
but is something which will prove of direct benefit to the 
prospective purchaser. 

This is where the "You" interest plays an important part. 
In the letter selling Auto Theft Signals, we find that the 
writer has spent all his time explaining and praising this 

Dear Sir: 

The quick, delicate and invisible 
erasure has always been much desired by 
stenographers. It has been almost impos- 
sible to make that kind of an erasure with 
the ordinary eraser. 

The Rush eraser will surprise you. 
Just a little stroke and the letter or 
figure is quickly erased. 

You can't depend upon acids and 
rubbers. The Rush way is the cleanest, 
quickest and the most satisfactory method. 

For fifty cents I will mail you a 
sample. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 23 

Small articles are best sold by short letters. Too much talk ii 
not likely to convince. This letter aims to sell directly to the con- 
sumer. It has as its object a reply, inclosing fifty cents. It does not 
waste time — it either succeeds or fails on its merits. 

It spends no time in convincing a man that he has need of an 
eraser. The analysis of his needs is left entirely to the reader. 



THE ADVERTISING LETTER 69 

device. But the value of that device to you or me depends 
not upon its value as a patented article, but as a possible 
means of preventing your car or my car from being stolen. 
That is why the second letter is better. The value of the 
Signal is not introduced as an abstract proposition, but it is 
connected up to the reader of the letter in such a way that 
it is his car that is being talked about, not the Auto Theft 
Signal. 

Man-to-Man The simple sales letter, too, must depend to 
Talk Brings even a larger degree upon this "You" inter- 
Results est for making its appeal really human. Even 
so prosaic an article as a fountain pen can be 
successfully sold by mail. Every one knows 
what a fountain pen is. Few really new improvements have 
been made in the fountain pen during the last few years. 
The only method of actually selling this man a pen must be 
one which makes him feel that he has a personal need for 
such an article. The "You" interest must here play an 
important part. The man-to-man talk of the salesman must 
be incorporated into this letter in order that the value of 
fountain pens in general may become value to this man in 
particular. The specimen letter illustrates this idea. The 
"You" interest connects up the pen with the prospect. Notice 
how this idea is carried out in the fountain pen letter in 
Chapter V. 

THE FOLLOW-UP LETTER 

Follow-up The follow-up letter is one of the most success- 
Letters ful forms of selling that we have. Its use is be- 
Gaining in coming more and more general because it has suc- 
Pavor cessfully demonstrated the fact that continual 
application of sound selling methods by mail will 
bring results. Although the war has made the use of the 



70 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

sales letter more necessary, the follow-up letter seems likely to 
gain in favor even after the war is over. 

Interest The greatest failure of follow-up series is the 

Must Be fact that it does not maintain interest over a 

Maintained sufficiently long period. In a single letter one 
may have the first paragraph of an interest- 
arousing nature and proceed at once to the business part of 

Dear Madam: 

It 1 8 Spring Time. 1 Surely a time to 
think of a daintily set' breakfast table un- 
der the rose arbor, with the world in fra- 
grant bloom . 

And what could be more in keeping with 
•uch a morning than crispy "Shredded Wheat, 
served with cream and strawberries, perhaps 
fresh from your own garden? 

"Shredded Wheat" is an ideal breakfast 
food for everyone — from the kiddies, who 
like it just as it comes from the box, to 
Grand-mere, who thinks it delicious when it 
has been dipped in milk, drained and fried 
in butter, and served with cream. It is de- 
licious, too, when split and toasted with 
cheese. 

Note on your memorandum now that you 
wish a box of this nourishing and sustain- 
ing breakfast food with your next order of 
groceries. 

Yours truly, 
Specimen Letter No. 24 

This is a very appetizing letter. It is more in keeping, however, 
with magazine advertising than it is with the personal letter. Its 
only advantage over the magazine advertisement is that it has a little 
personal appeal. The reader will think of the letter as being his letter. 

The failure of the letter, however, is its failure to take advantage 



THE ADVERTISING LETTER 71 

of this very fact. A letter which is written to an individual should 
take advantage of this personal element to the greatest extent pos- 
sible. The "you" interest must be introduced if a, letter like thii i* 
to succeed. 

the letter. But because the first of a series of follow-up let- 
ters is interesting, we have no guarantee that the succeeding 
letters will be read. The first problem then, is to maintain 
interest throughout all of the letters. 

One Idea Then, too, there is a natural tendency on the 

Should Run part of many writers to include too much in each 
Throughout letter. This is dangerous, because it means that 
there must be a great deal of repetition; and 
repetition, except for occasional emphasis, is boring. It is 
well in a series of sales letters to feature one particular point 
just as the single sales letter does. A series of sales letters 
will fail unless this fundamental idea runs throughout all of 
the letters. Usually, of course, this idea will center around 
either economy or convenience. 

The aim of a sales letter should be kept well in mind. 
Sometimes sales letters are written merely with the idea of 
eliciting an inquiry from the prospect. Perhaps a request 
from him that a salesman should call, is desired. This means 
of course, that the sale has been practically completed. This 
method is followed in selling most propositions involving a 
fairly good sized sum of money. 

Small Smaller articles, like cigars and tobacco, which are 
Articles sometimes sold by means of follow-up letters, have 
Sold by as their aim an actual order mailed by a prospect. 
Direct This means that the pressure must be brought to 
Method bear directly on the man's pocket-book. The series 
must be brought to a close in a little more forcible 
manner than the letter which merely seeks to have the man 



72 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

make an inquiry or request a personal interview. This is 
the direct method. 

Sales letters which seek to elicit an inquiry serve two 
purposes. They save the expense of sending a salesman to 
an interested prospect, and they almost complete the sale 
before he does make a personal call. This is the indirect 
method. 

Specimen The series of follow-up letters which are included 
Series Use are written in the matter-of-fact tone which is 
Indirect likely to appeal to the class of men interested in 
Method farm tractors. The aim of the sales letters has 

not been to directly make a sale, but rather to 
elicit a request from the farmer that a salesman be allowed to 
call. Of course, this salesman could call anyway, during the 
process of the sales letters. The psychological fact remains 
that if the reader requests the salesman to call, he has a much 
more fertile field of endeavor. 

Notice, too, how clearly the idea of economy runs through- 
out all of the different letters. The American farmer is par- 
ticularly susceptible to this argument. 

ADVERTISING ANNOUNCEMENTS 

Many business firms send, from time to time, letters an- 
nouncing sales along particular lines, or brief descriptive 
letters regarding some feature which is being added to their 
stock. These letters take the form of newspaper advertising 
with the exception that they are addressed to a particular 
person. 



THE ADVERTISING LETTER 



73 



Announce- While announcements of this kind have their 
ments value, it is the writer's opinion that however 

Are Not clearly they may be written, their drawing 

Good Sales power would be increased if the "You" interest 
Letters was a little bit more predominating. A letter 

of this type is the one featuring Shredded 
Wheat. Very dainty, and quite in keeping with its appetizing 
idea, it nevertheless somehow fails to achieve the results of a 
letter which is aimed more directly at "You." The "You" 
interest is the only thing that will save the sales letter or 
the advertising letter from becoming cut and dried newspaper 
copy mailed to individuals. 



Chapter VII 

LETTERS OF APPLICATION 

Letter of The letter of application must be a sort of sales 

Application letter, because it succeeds only when the writer 
Is a Sales sells his services. Formerly letters of applica- 
Letter tion were simple statements to the effect that 

the writer wished to be considered an applicant 
for the position advertised in "this morning's Times/ ' The 
successful applicant for any position that is advertised must 
do more than merely answer the advertisement. His letter 
should especially reflect his character and personality. 

Application Any letter must be carefully and thoughtfully 
Must Have written ; any letter must be free from errors in 
Personality punctuation and grammar. The successful let- 
ter of application always contains in addition 
the vital element of personality. The man who really wants 
a position must make his letter as powerful a factor in secur- 
ing it as he does his personal interview. It must not only 
distinguish him from the other applicants because of its force 
and clearness, but it must carry the conviction of his belief in 
his own ability. It must carry the conviction which every sales 
letter should possess. 

Two A word of caution at this time should be given 

Dangers to all prospective letter writers. There are two 
To Avoid dangers to be faced. In the first place, there is 
the danger of conforming to standards of writing 
which have become meaningless and characterless from long 



LETTERS OF APPLICATION 75 

use. In the second place, there is the danger of making the 
letter appear flippant or frivolous. He who strikes a happy 
medium between these two extremes, will solve the problem. 

Sincerity Letters which merely attract attention are not 
Necessary sufficient. The employer is buying something. 
He has; a right to expect that he will be given 
value received for his money. If the writer of a letter of ap- 
plication shows by the character of the letter that he does 
not take himself seriously, he has little hope of persuading 
any one else to believe in him. 

Letters which are too boastful are likely to be rejected 
by the employer. A man who entirely over-estimates his own 

Dear Sir: 

I hereby apply for the position of 
stenographer which you advertised in this 
morning's Times, 

I am a high school graduate, have 
attended college and have just completed 
a business course in Mrs. Jones 1 Business 
College, I would appreciate a personal 
interview. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 25 

This is the ordinary type of letter which is written in answer to 
an advertisement: 

"Wantedr— A Stenographer. Box 230, Times.' , 

Theoretically this letter answers the advertisement satisfactorily. 
Actually it does not place itself in a position where it will command 
any more attention than any other letter. The ordinary letter should 
be avoided. If an applicant has personality, if he is capable, these 
things should be brought out, not only by more inclusive statements 
but by the tone of the letter. This is the type of letter which is likely 
to receive no reply. 



76 CAMPBELLS COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

value usually is unable to cope with situations into which he 
has been thrown by this over confidence. Likewise, the let- 
ter which is flippant, makes sweeping statements, and is not 
backed up with the heartfelt sincerity of the writer, is likely 
to receive little consideration. 

"We must have then, a letter which is not too formal, and 
which is not too informal. It should be sincere, because sin- 
cere letters are impressive. It should create in the employer 
a desire to meet the writer of the letter; if the applicant comes 
into an office with the employer in this attitude of mind, the 
position is almost his. 

Two Letters of application may be roughly divided into 

Classes two main classes. The first class is composed of let- 
ters which are answers to the so-called blind ad- 
vertisement, that is, where the name of the advertiser is not 
revealed, and where it is simply stated that a bookkeeper or 
stenographer or a clerk is wanted. The main object in writ- 
ing an answer to that kind of a letter is, of course, to obtain 
a personal interview. 

The second class is written in answer to an advertisement 
where a large number of questions are asked and which neces- 
sarily calls for a detailed reply. 

In answering the first kind of an advertisement, much 
may be left to the discretion of the writer. A reply like 
this is sometimes all that is necessary: 

Box 982 

Times Office 

Dear Sir: 

I believe that I can qualify for the posi- 
tion which you advertise. When may I come 
to see you? 

Yours truly, 
Phone 8818 John Smith, 

3727 47th St. 






LETTERS OF APPLICATION 77 



M, BOX 31 

Times Office 

Dear Sir: 

I feel that my training and experience 
have made me particularly suited for the 
position which you advertise in this morn- 
ing's tt Times • ■ 

I have had a good general education, 
having been graduated from the Los Angeles 
High School. I also attended Stanford 
University for two years, and after I left 
there in February, 1917, I entered Business 
College. There, I took the entire course 
in business training, including Stenography, 
Office Training and Commercial Law, 

After I received my diploma, I entered 
the Law office of the H. P. Morton Company, 
by whom I was employed until the recent 
dissolution of the firm on February 28th 
of this year. 

Mr. Morton has given me permission 
to say that he might be called upon for 
reference. His telephone number is A5670. 

I should appreciate a personal inter- 
Tiew. My telephone number is F5624. 

Yours respectfully, 



Specimen Letter No. 26 

This letter — an actual letter — contains a great deal of information 
which might be termed uncalled for, but there is enough positiveness 
about the letter to make one believe that the writer is capable. In 
addition, the exact qualifications are given in detail. The phone num- 
bers make an inquiry easy. 

The applicant for a position should always remember that he is 
trying to sell something. If he succeeds, he v/ill do more than simply 
offer his services for sale— he will display them to the best advantage. 
He will write convincingly but not boastingly of his ability. 



78 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

All While the above form can be used, it is not always 

Questions wise to be too brief. A few of the personal quali- 
Must Be fications of the writer could be included, even 
Answered though nothing definite was asked for. If the 
writer has any particular qualifications, his chances 
of obtaining the interview would be thereby increased. A 
general caution which may be applied to all letters which 
answer the second class of advertisements, is this: Be sure 
that every question asked is answered exactly in the manner 

Dear Sir: 

Last week I was thrown out of employ- 
ment by the bankruptcy of the Western 
Construction Company. I have worked for 
them for the last three years. 

Your advertisement in the Times this 
morning interested me, because I have been 
looking for a position where executive 
ability was really desired. 

I am a college graduate and have made 
an extended study of corporation business. 
While with the Western Construction Oompany 
I organized their efficiency department, 
which has paid a net return of over "thirty 
per cent. 

May I come over and see you? I feel 
quite sure that an interview will be to 
our mutual advantage. 

Yours very truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 27 

This is a brief letter which conveys a great deal of the personality 
of the writer. It expresses his confidence in his own competence. 
Without conveying a great deal of information, the letter is convincing. 
A man who had advertised would hardly feel that he could afford not 
to grant this particular applicant an interview. Not the position, but 
the interview, is the object of the writer. 



LETTERS OF APPLICATION 79 



Dear Sir: 

I would like the position as sales- 
woman in the hosiery department in your 
store, which you advertised in this morn- 
ing's "Times," 

I have had three years 1 experience in 
a dry goods store in a small town. I was 
head saleswoman, having three girls in my 
charge, I selected all goods for the Hos- 
iery, Corsets and Underwear departments 
and assisted in the buying of the Silks 
and Dress Goods. 

I know that Mr. W. B. Jones of Ash- 
land, Oregon, will be glad to tell you 
about my character and ability. 

I am looking for a permanent posi- 
tion where there is a reasonable chance 
for advancement. I will appreciate a 
personal interview. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 28 

Of still a different type is this letter. It is straight-forward, busi- 
ness-like and complete. Not only is the experience of the writer 
given, but the exact lines in which she has worked are included. It 
is a good letter without being pretentious. 



demanded in the advertisement. If questions are asked re- 
garding the expected salary, or the education, age and experi- 
ence of the applicant, those must be answered. Many men in- 
clude questions like that simply to see whether or not the appli- 
cant is accurate in answering questions, and a careless reply is 
very likely to lose an interview. 



80 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



Dear Sir: 

You are looking for a stenographer. 
May I submit my qualifications? 

In 1916 I was graduated from Col- 
umbia University, where I specialized 
in English and Economics. 

My knowledge of Stenography was ob- 
tained in a ten months 1 course in the 
Stenotype Department of the Union Bus- 
iness College of New York City. 

My special qualifications include: 

1. Rapidity and accuracy in 
taking dictation and in 
typing. 

2. Thorough acquaintance with 
ordinary office appliances. 

3. Energy, adaptability and in- 
itiative, 

I have had no experience, but my thor- 
ough course of business training, backed 
by my general university education, has 
qualified me to assume the duties of a 
responsible stenographic position. I am 
confident that I can do your work. 

I am twenty-four years of age and 
ask Twenty-Five Dollars a week salary. I 
should appreciate an interview. 

Yours truly, 



Specimen Letter No. 29 

Of a decidedly modern tone is this letter. Its value as an actual 
letter of application is questionable. It is, however, sincere, and for 
this reason might command attention where other letters would be 
passed by. 

The success of any letter of application will depend upon the 
reader. Some employers would be inclined to take this kind of a 



LETTERS OF APPLICATION 81 

letter very seriously; others might not. It is a letter which might 
gain a great deal, or lose everything. For that reason it is not to be 
generally recommended. 



Reasonable The answer to the question: ''State the least 
Salary salary expected," is a bug-bear to most appli- 

Should Be cants for positions. Experience has proved, 
Asked For however, that the man who is willing to work 
for the least salary does not always get the job. 
Many an applicant who is really worthy has received no reply 
to his application when he has agreed to work at a wage far 
below that which he could really earn. The duties expected 
have a great deal to do with the salary which one receives. 
Offers to work for too small an amount are sometimes consid- 
ered as evidence of incompetency. 

For example, an advertisement appeared in a newspaper 
asking for the services of a competent bookkeeper with two 
or more years' experience. Among the applicants was a 
young man who apparently could qualify in every particular. 
In answer to the question : * * State the lowest salary at which 
you will work," he said, "I should expect $10 a week." 

This is in itself an evidence of either incompetency or poor 
judgment, either of which would disqualify the applicant. No 
bookkeeper who is really competent, and who has had two 
years' experience could reasonably be expected to work for 
$10 a week. The admission that that would prove an accept- 
able salary is fatal. 

Notice two letters which are in answer to the same ad- 
vertisement for a stenographer. 

In the first letter we find a very ordinary form of ap- 
plication. There is nothing about the letter which makes 
it so very different from any letters that might be re- 
ceived. There apparently is nothing wrong with the qualifies- 



82 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

tions of the writer, but nevertheless there seems to be nothing 
particularly forceful about his letter. 

The second letter contains a more appealing sort of ap- 
plication. The writer seems to realize that the success of 
obtaining an interview depends upon convincing the employer 
that his qualifications are human as well as mechanical. 

Letter In other words, the second letter illustrates what 

Should is meant by personality, and unlike the first 

Awaken letter it conforms to no standard which has be- 

Employer's come worn out by constant use. It tends to 
Interest arouse the interest of the employer, not in the 

letter, but in the writer of the letter. This 
means that, should an interview be granted, the applicant pre- 
sents himself under the most favorable circumstances ; he has 
already made a favorable impression. 

Letter The letter of application which is absolutely color- 

Paves the less and which does not make a definite and favor- 
Way able impression, leaves all the difficulties of the 
first interview to be reckoned with. The letter 
which paves the way for this meeting, which makes the em- 
ployer feel that he is about to meet a real person rather than 
a letter writer, enables the applicant to meet his prospective 
employer with the ice already broken. 

The ultimate test of the letter of application will be: 
Will it get an interview ? The letter which answers that ques- 
tion affirmatively must create a desire upon the part of the 
employer to meet the writer of the letter. Unless the ap- 
plicant can inject some of his own personality into the let- 
ter, or convey some of the confidence which he has in his 
own ability, his letter is likely to fail. He makes the em- 
ployer feel that he is a nonentity. 






LETTERS OF APPLICATION 83 

The writer of every letter of application should have some- 
thing particular to sell. In answering an advertisement he 
has the advantage over the ordinary salesman because he 
knows that his prospect wants to buy. If he has anything 
particular to offer in the way of education, experience, or 
attainment, that is the thing which he should feature. It is 
the applicant who is especially fitted for any position, who 
gets the job. Just as every salesman attempts to present his 
wares in the most attractive manner possible, so should the 
writer of a letter of application present himself in the way 
which is most likely to convince the employer that his services 
are desirable. 



Chapter VIII 

COLLECTION LETTERS 

Collection Great improvement has been made in the method 
Letters of collecting money by mail. Formerly, only 

Have one idea was considered ; that was the rough-and- 

Changed ready attempt to get the money. It has been 
demonstrated, however, that the successful col- 
lection letter must not only collect the money, but it must 
retain the good will of the customer. The collection letter may 
collect money and then only partially succeed in its real pur- 
pose. Successful business depends upon continued patronage. 
The loss of the customer means not only the loss of future 
sales, but a living advertisement against the firm. Letters which 
contain little outside of a threat to place the account in the 
hands of a lawyer, lose business. 

Bluff This type of letter failed for two reasons. First 

Does Not of all, the average man who does not pay his bills, 
Pay is not always easily bluffed. Usually the man who 

refuses to pay his bills promptly has a reason 
which may be perfectly legitimate, or he is simply a dead- 
beat against whom a law suit would be futile. Such a man 
is not worried at all about being sued. 

In the second place that type of letter failed because, even 
if the man did not have a good reason for not paying his 
bills, he might still have been a good customer. Letters 
which are too bombastic in their threats when applied to a 
customer of this sort usually result in the loss of his trade 



COLLECTION LETTERS 85 

forever. A dissatisfied customer is an advertisement against 
the firm. He takes away other trade besides his own. 

It must not be understood that accounts should never be 
placed in the hands of an attorney, nor that letters should 
never make the statement that accounts will be placed in the 
hands of a collector. 

It should be assumed that delinquent customers know that 
accounts placed with attorneys for collection usually result 
in actual losses to the firm. Threats which are not intended 
to be carried out should be avoided. The statement that 
legal means will be resorted to should be made when that 
is the real intention of the writer. 

Dear Sir: 

We are again sending you a statement 
of your January account. 

I regret very much that you have 
allowed this account to become delinquent, 
because I do not like to feel that my con- 
fidence in you was misplaced. 

If you have overlooked this matter, 
just drop us a check. It will be greatly 
appreciated. 

Yours truly, 
FIRST COLLECTION LETTER (Follow-up series) 
Specimen Letter No. 30 

The first collection letter of any series should not be made too 
strong. On the other hand no writer of a collection letter is at liberty 
to say that it is either the first or the last, because the results which 
each letter brings will tell whether or not another letter is necessary. 

The appeal in this letter is strong and yet there is nothing which 
is likely to prove offensive. It must be remembered that the motto of 
every collection series should be, "Get the money, but save the 
customer." 



SI CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



Dear Sir: 

I cannot understand why you have not 
made some payment on your account. You 
realize, of course, that accounts which we 
carry as long as this, result in actual 
losses. 

I thought at first, that probably this 
matter had been overlooked by you, or that 
perhaps it was one of those matters which 
you had neglected. I still hope that this 
is the case. 

I am very anxious that you should re- 
establish your former good credit. Only a 
prompt remittance on your part will do it. 

Won ! t you mail us your check today? 

Yours truly, 

SECOND COLLECTION LETTER 

Specimen Letter No. 31 

This is a strong letter. It is well to note that at all times an 
opportunity is left for the customer to explain his delinquency. The 
opportunity to re-establish his former good credit is always left open. 



Form There are two principal methods of collecting an 

Letters account by mail. One is by a series of set form 

Must Be letters which are mailed to all customers regard- 
Courteous less of their standing with the firm. Many ac- 
counts can be collected in this manner. These let- 
ters must not be too formal; nor should they be lacking in 
courtesy. The value of courtesy is paramount because ac- 
counts which are easily collected are accounts that are worth 
having. Letters which keep the good will of the customer are 
fully as necessary as letters which bring in the money. 






COLLECTION LETTERS 87 

FOLLOW-UP SERIES OP COLLECTION LETTERS 

The most satisfactory method of collecting accounts is by 
means of what is known as the series of collection letters. The 
writer of a letter can never know which one of the letters 
will bring results, and in order that the series shall gain in 
forcefulness as they progress, the first letter must not be too 

Dear Sir: 

Sometimes things happen which make it 
quite impossible for our customers to settle 
their accounts promptly. If customers do 
not let us know about this, it results in a 
misunderstanding all around. 

If you are not well, I should like to 
know about it. If there is any possible 
reason why you cannot make payment, please 
write and explain the circumstances. I aup 
always willing to make any just concession 
that 1 can. 

But I do not like to feel that you are 
deliberately letting your account become 
more and more delinquent. Some sort of an 
explanation on your part will clear matters 
up considerably. 

If there is anything that I can do to 
help you, let me know. 

Yours truly, 

THIRD COLLECTION LETTER 

Specimen Letter No. 32 

This letter emphasizes the willingness of the firm to make any 
just concession that they can in their endeavor to help the customer 
clear up the debt. The idea of keeping the customer is still adhered 
to very strictly. It often happens that letters like this will bring forth 
a reasonable excuse for non-payment. While, of course, excuses are 
not the object of the letter, they at least open up a ground for dis- 
cussion between the delinquent customer and the creditor. 



88 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

strong. If the first letter is too emphatic it spoils the effect 
of the letters which follow. 

Appeal to Experience has shown that people are more in- 
Customers' clined to pay money when they believe that it 
Fairness is really needed than when they are merely asked 

for it. Some sound argument — an argument 
which, perhaps, shows the basis upon which the sale was 
made, or which calls attention to the fact that over-due ac- 

Dear Sir: 

I 'have given you every opportunity at 
my command to make some sort of an arrange- 
ment for paying your account. You have dis- 
appointed me. 

I regret, therefore, that I have been 
forced to take other means to collect this 
account. Mr. Edwin Chapman, our attorney, 
will take this matter up with you on the 
fifteenth of the month. 

Law suits axe disagreeable. If you 
can possibly avoid this unpleasantness, 
communicate with me before the fifteenth. 
Please act quickly. 

Your 8 truly, 

FOURTH COLLECTION LETTER 
Specimen Letter No. 33 

The last letter of any collection series is important, and: it should 
be written only when the writer is firmly resolved that no further 
letters will avail. The difference between this series of letters and 
the ordinary series lies in the fact that no reference is made to an 
attorney and no threat is made to place the account in the hands of 
a collector until the writer is actually determined to do so. 

The second paragraph of the letter is not a threat; still an oppor- 
tunity for making an explanation or of paying the account is left. 

Keeping the good will of the customer and collecting the money 
at the same time are difficult tasks, perhaps, but they can be done. 



COLLECTION LETTERS 89 

counts actually do result in losses to the firm which makes 
the sales on a cash basis, or which calls attention to the value 
of good credit on the part of the customer — may all he in- 
cluded. An appeal to the customer's fairness gets results. 
Anything which takes off the cutting edge of the letter which 
demands money is w r orth while. 

As the series of letters progresses, every possible induce- 
ment that can be brought to bear upon the delinquent customer 
must be made. Every possible method should be employed 
which will allow the m!an a chance to do one of two things — 
either immediately make payment, or explain his delinquency. 

Opportunity This opportunity for explanation can hardly be 
To Explain over-emphasized. The opportunity should al- 
Should Be ways be left for a man to re-establish, in a 

Offered measure, his former good credit. The idea of 

offering the man the two alternatives — either 
to pay or to explain his reasons for nonpayment — must al- 
ways be kept well in the foreground. The letter must carry 
the tone that if there is no reason for nonpayment, of course 
payment should be made. If there is such a reason, the credi- 
tor has a right to know it. Notice how these ideas have been 
carried out in the specimen letters. If there is anything at 
all in the theory that most people like to pay their debts, then 
letters like these, which give them the opportunity of explain- 
ing away their delinquency, will bring results. That this is 
a result getting series, has been demonstrated. 

Final The final letter, of course, should contain a warn- 

Letter ing note that the account is about to be placed in 

Must Be the hands of an attorney. It is important, how- 
Forceful ever, that this warning should never be made until 
the account is actually ready to be turned over. 
After a series of letters has been written, there is really noth- 



90 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

ing left to say. If, after four or five good letters have been 
written no results have been obtained, it is time to pursue 
other means of collection. No announcement of that change 
in policy should be made until it is ready to be instituted. 
The bluffing collection letter does not pay in the long run. 






Dear Sir: 

We were very glad to receive your 
order for 10 barrels of shingle stain. 
Our credit manager informs us, however, 
that there is still a considerable bal- 
ance due on your January account. 

We are making every effort possible 
to avoid increasing the delinquent amounts 
on our books. Will you help us in this 
matter by sending us a check to cover 
your balance? 

We shall hold your order ready for 
shipment until we hear from you. 

Yours truly, 



Specimen Letter No. 34 

A rather difficult task and yet not an impracticable one is the 
collection letter combined with the sales letter. It is hardly to be 
recommended, however, for any considerable amount. 

In this letter, a customer who already has a delinquent account, 
has ordered goods. A statement that the goods will be sent as soon 
as the account has been cleared up is not always satisfactory, but is 
many times necessary. 

The success of this kind of a letter depends upon the directness 
and sincerity with which it is written. A letter like this is not very 
likely to prove offensive. 



COLLECTION LETTERS 91 

Avoid Let it not be construed that the collection letter 

Apologetic should be a meek and mild affair. No one should 
Tone hesitate to ask for that which is his. An apolo- 

getic tone especially should be avoided. If one 
trace of weakness appears in the whole collection letter, it is 
likely to fail. If it is not absolutely sincere, its lack of sin- 
cerity is likely to be the very cause for non-payment. 

Firm The point is simply this: The collection letter 

Forcible must be firm, must be forcible, but must avoid, 
Fair above everything else, any tone or any statement 

which arouses the antagonism of the customer. 
Many a good account has been lost simply because the writer 
of the letter failed to appreciate that the man to whom he was 
sending it was human and that being human, he would react 
as one might expect a human being to react. 



Chapter IX 

LETTERS OF COMPLAINT 

Purpose The main purpose in writing a letter of complaint 
Not to is not to register a complaint against existing 

Complain conditions ; it is to secure an adjustment of those 
conditions. The successful letter of complaint is 
not successful because it succeeds in laying blame for some 
mistake, but because it secures an effective remedy for what- 
ever mistake has occurred. 

Two Letters of complaint involve two distinct classes. 

Classes First, there is the actual letter of complaint writ- 
ten by a customer requesting adjustment of the 
claim. Then there is the letter written by the firm to the cus- 
tomer, which attempts to adjust the difficulty. 

LETTERS TO BUSINESS HOUSES 

Take the first class. A man in Arizona, or New Mexico, 
orders a piano from a mail order house in Chicago. The piano 
arrives in a damaged condition or with parts missing. There 
is no doubt that the fault lies with the shipper and not with 
the common carrier. Obviously it will avail little for the man 
who is situated so far from the factory to do a great deal of 
storming. What he wants is either a new piano or sufficient 
parts to repair the damage. If he has paid for the piano and 
is put to additional expense to repair it in his own town, he 
wants to be compensated for his trouble. 



LETTERS OF COMPLAINT 93 

Letter His letter, in order to get results, must contain 

Must Be something besides a tirade against the manufac- 
Detailed turer. First it m<ust contain a clear and concise 
statement of the matter under discussion. There 
should be absolutely no doubt as to the shipment about which 
the man is complaining. Then there must be a simple but 
detailed statement of the damage or shortage. This also must 
be very clear because even though the man is sure in his own 
mind that the article must be replaced, perhaps to those who 
are well acquainted with the proposition, there may be another 
way out of the difficulty. All the facts must be given in order 
that there may be no mistakes about the real difficulty. 

Gentlemen: 

The goods which you sent us February 
10, were not properly crated. As a re- 
sult, two chairs were broken and the top 
of one of the tables was badly scratched. 

You know, of course, that when goods 
are simply wrapped in burlap, instead of 
being crated, the railroad company cannot 
be held responsible for any damage. We 
feel, therefore, that you should be will- 
ing to make some sort of an adjustment in 
this case. 

This is the first time that we have 
had any cause for complaint, and we re- 
gret very much to be compelled to return 
the goods. We are asking you, however, 
to either replace the damaged articles, 
or to return our money immediately. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 35 
This letter typifies the type which is best used in attempts to 
secure an adjustment of any complaint. The writer must always 
remember that the object of the complaint letter is not to complain. 



94 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

In this case the reasons for bringing the complaint against the com- 
pany, instead of the common carrier, are clearly shown. The letter is 
firm but not prepossessing. It hopes to secure an adjustment by its 
reasonableness. It is, however, not indefinite in its demands. 

The great danger of writing a letter of complaint is simply to com- 
plain and not ask for anything to be done. The letter of complaint 
must include a specific request. It should not ask for adjustments im 
general, but for some adjustment in particular. 



Gentlemen: 

I am returning the six reams of paper 
which I received from you yesterday. You 
sent yellow, and I particularly specified 
that the paper was to have been white, 

I can f t understand why you should make 
this mistake; but this is the third or 
fourth time that this has occurred this 
year, I wish you would check up my orders 
more carefully in the future. 



is: 



I shall repeat my order. What I want 



6 Reams #171 Paper, color White . 



Please see if you can fill my order 
oorrectly. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 36 

This illustrates the wrong method to be pursued in writing a letter 
of complaint. It might be written more insolently than it is. Th« 
point is, however, that it is neither polite nor respectful. It is not 
likely to receive the same courtesy that the next letter, written to 
adjust the same complaint, would receive. 



LETTERS OP COMPLAINT 95 

The A letter that will bring results must not only be 

Wrong firm but must also be courteous. The value of 
Way courtesy as an asset can hardly be over-estimated 

in this particular type of letter. Many times letters 
which are aimed to remedy a just complaint fail to bring re- 
sults because the letter is written in such a way that the firm 
to whom it is addressed becomes antagonistic. In the first let- 
ter which is shown, the writer has adopted the wrong tactics 
to secure an adjustment. The necessity for securing the ad- 
justment has been subordinated to a desire to place the blame 
entirely upon the firm. Even if the cause is just, letters of this 
kind are less likely to secure prompt adjustment than are let- 
ters which are firm, reasonable, and courteous. 

Gentlemen: 

I am returning six reams of paper 
which I received from you yesterday; if 
you will refer to my order you will find 
that I specified white paper. The paper 
you sent was yellow. 

My correct order follows: 

6 Reams #171 Paper. Color White . 

I have already been delayed by this 
mistake so shall be very glad if you will 
adjust the master as promptly as you can. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 37 

This is a much more polite letter than its predecessor. It is, 
however, just as firm. The writer clearly states the fact that he has 
been delayed by the mistake. He is just as anxious to receive the cor- 
rect order as was the writer of the former letter. 

Because he is more careful in his method he is likely to receire 
much more efficient results. 



96 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

The In the next illustration we have a letter which illus- 

Right trates the ideas of courtesy, reasonableness, and 
Way force. Because complaints of this kind are reason- 

able the firms to whom they are written are more 
likely to make a reasonable adjustment. The aim of the com- 
plaint should always be kept in mind ; it must not simply com- 
plain, it must secure an effective adjustment of unsatisfactory 
conditions. 

Dear Sir: 

We have your contract in which you 
agree to buy this second-hand automobile 
without any guarantee as to its condition 
on our part. You realize of course, that 
this contract is binding in law 

Second-hand automobiles are very like- 
ly to prove unsatisfactory, because many 
of the parts are worn and repairs are al- 
ways higher than on a new car 

We do not see how you can have any 
cause for complaint. We shall insist on 
enforcing the contract 

Yours truly, 
Specimen Letter No. 38 

The letter written by a business house in answer to a complaint 
may do one of two things : It may refuse the request or it may grant it. 

There is sometimes a chance to answer complaints in an unfavor- 
able manner and yet not lose the good will of the customer. In less 
frequent cases there is the opportunity of making him satisfied even 
after he has filed a complaint. 

This letter is the wrong type of letter for the business house to 
pursue, even though it must refuse the request which was asked. 
Instead of keeping the good will of the customer, it will make him 
more regretful than ever that he has made his purchase. A dissatisfied 
customer is a bad advertisement. 



LETTERS OF COMPLAINT 97 

LETTERS ADJUSTING COMPLAINTS 

The second class of letters is sometimes more difficult to 
write. Business houses do not always find that complaints are 
just and well founded. Many times the adjustment desired 
is unreasonable. Then the double problem of refusing the 
request and attempting to assuage the injured feelings of the 
customer must be faced. 

Customer The important thing from the viewpoint of the 
Must Not seller is to retain the customer. The letter which 
Be Lost simply refuses to adjust the complaint or which 

even adjusts it in a grudging manner is likely to 
lose a customer. Courtesy, again, plays an important part. 
The letter which conveys the impression that the firm is will- 
ing to make good even though it is not in the wrong, is a very 
poor advertisement for any business house to send out. The 
letter which makes a prompt and reasonable adjustment in a 
courteous manner, will sometimes strengthen the bonds be- 
tween the two parties. 

Note the letter illustrating the courteous reply. It makes 
the reader feel that it has been a real pleasure to adjust the 
complaint. Letters like this are worth dollars in advertising, 
because they make of a dissatisfied customer a man who has 
more confidence than ever in the firm. He believes that they 
are willing to let him be the judge of whether or not he is 
satisfied. 

Customer Notice the difference in the two ways of answer- 
Must Be ing the next complaint. The result is exactly 
Satisfied the same in either case. In the first letter, the 
man keeps the article because the firm refuses to 
take it back. He is a dissatisfied customer. In the second 
letter he keeps it because he wants to, and because he is more 



a* CAMPBELLS COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Dear Sir: 

We don't want you to ask us to allow 
you to return the car which you bought 
last week. Many times we have had people 
buy second-hand cars and then at the 
first need of repairs they have come to 
us feeling that they have not received 
full value for their money. 

A good second-hand car will give you 
excellent service. You purchased this 
car well under the market price for sec- 
ond-hand motors of its kind. We feel 
that the few dollars spent by you in re- 
pairs will put this car in first class 
condition. Whatever money you are com- 
pelled to spend on the car now, should be 
considered very much in the nature of an 
investment. 

We sincerely advise you to look over 
the car very carefully and strengthen 
any weak points that you may discover. 
If you will put this car in first class 
running condition, it will be worth sev- 
eral times what you paid for it. 

If we can assist you in fixing this 
oar up, please let us know. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 39 

This letter is an answer to the same complaint a» No. 38. It 
shows the possibilities of making a man satisfied with that which hd 
has bought. Even though he may never be entirely satisfied with nil 
purchase, the reasonableness of this letter is likely to make him feel 
that no injustice has been done. It may even go further; he may keep 
the car because he feels that he wants it; he may feel that his original 
decision was correct. 

If it succeeds, the firm has made a satisfied customer out of a dis- 
satisfied one. The result is at least worth the effort. 



' LETTERS OF COMPLAINT 99 

firmly convinced than ever that his original decision was right. 
The letter is psychologically correct for several reasons. Men 
are usually open to conviction when it comes to making them 
believe that their original decision was right. Furthermore, 
such a letter has the same clinching effect that the recanvass of 
the salesman has. 

Customer Even though this sort of an adjustment or an- 
Will swer to a complaint does not succeed in con- 

Appreciate vincing the dissatisfied customer that his corn- 
Reasonable plaint was unjustified, it does at least go a long 
Reply way toward making him stand by his original 

decision with good grace. Even if entirely un- 
satisfactory to the man, at least it does not injure feelings 
which are already hurt. The average customer wants only a 
reasonable adjustment. Any letter which makes him feel that 
whatever is done is the only reasonable and just thing to do, 
is more likely to satisfy him than any other. 

THE TONE OF THE COMPLAINT LETTER 

Mere The question of courtesy is one which is not 

Politeness always well understood. Courtesy does not con- 
Not sist in politeness alone, nor does it consist entirely 
Courtesy of sincerity; it consists of both. Just as the 
smile on a man's face tells whether or not he is 
really sincere, so does the whole tone of a business letter tell 
whether or not the words really mean what they say. Effusive- 
ness is not politeness. An obvious attempt at being polite is 
sometimes lacking in courtesy because the effort is so plainly 
visible. 



100 



CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 



Bad Policy If a customer firmly believes that he is right, 
To argument which is intended to convince him 

Contradict otherwise is usually unavailing. Human nature 
Customer will make a man believe the thing which he 
wants to believe. Subtle insinuations which are 
aimed to discredit whatever statements he may have made in 
his letter of complaint, carry with them, a double sting. They 
not only refuse to grant his request, but they attempt to con- 
vince him that he was wrong in asking. 



Honesty The letter which is not an exemplification of the 
Always theory that honesty is the best policy, should never 
Best be written. Letters of complaint, or letters in an- 

swer to complaints must be truthful, sincere, and 
courteous. Truth is not difficult to detect. Honesty is always 
convincing Make the letter stand firmly on its own feet. 



Chapter X 
MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 

Too Many In every business office hundreds of letters are 
Letters Are written about the general details of the business. 
Colorless Many of these routine letters are written about 

much the same subject matter. Consequently in 
a general way they adhere to much the same form. 

The danger of writing a great many letters which are 
much the same in thought is that they may become so stereo- 
typed in style that they will gradually lose all originality. 
Words and phrases constantly spring up which are used again 
and again, because at first they seem particularly apt. Con- 
stant repetition makes them tiring. They lose their force. 

Hackneyed Constantly used phrases not only lack force, but 
Phrases their use has another disadvantage. Because 

Are Bad they are so easily called to mind, there is a con- 

stant danger that they will be used when other 
words would better fit the occasion. As a result of this we 
find that the number of useless words in business letters is 
astounding. Words and phrases are used sometimes simply 
for their rhetorical effect. They detract, not only from the 
force and the naturalness of a letter, but also in many cases 
from its clearness. 

There are two things to be considered in writing any 
detail letter. In the first place the writer should be indi- 
vidual. Whatever he has to say should be told and not written. 
He must always remember that the letter takes the place of the 



102 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

interview. The language used should be the same as he would 
use if he were speaking directly to the person. 

Arrangement Notice the difference in the letters in regard 
Helps to the lost freight car. The first letter is too 

much involved. The writer apparently imag- 
ined that he had just so many words to get out, just so much 
to be said, before he could finish his letter. No attempt was 
made to arrange his ideas so that the things he did have to 
say could be said briefly, clearly, and with interest. The sec- 
ond letter conveys just as much information and will bring 
better results because the writer has taken the pains to present 
his ideas more clearly and with much greater interest. 



Gentlemen: 

We have your letter of the 8th inst., 

inquiring as to the financial responsibil- 
ity, etc., of Mr. John Harrison, and in re- 
ply we are pleased to inform you that for 
the past seven years he has been one of our 
most valuable customers, running a credit 
line of sixty days, ranging from $100,000 
to $300,000. He has never had an overdue 
account, and has sometimes taken the cash 
discount. 

Trusting this information may prove 
satisfactory to you, 

We are, 

Yours truly. 

Specimen Letter No. 40 

This letter used too many words to convey its message. Notice 
letter No. 41. 



MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 103 

Gentlemen : 

Mr. John Harrison, about whom you in- 
quired, is one of our most valued customers 
In the past seven years he has had numerous 
sixty day accounts ranging from $100,000 to 

$300,000. 

He has never had an overdue account. 

Yours truly, 
Specimen Letter No. 41 

This is practically the same letter as No. 40. It has been reduced 
by simply omitting unnecessary words. The danger is always to 
become somewhat verbose. The letter writer should conserve his 
energy by using as few words as he can to convey his message. 

Buying Then there is the letter which orders goods. We 
Letters have already spoken about the buying letter. We 
have seen how necessary it is to make the descrip- 
tion of the articles wanted complete in every way. We have 
shown that the method of making the shipment and the method 
of payment must always be included. All of these points must 
be considered, of course, but in addition to merely including 
them in the letter, their arrangement must be carefully planned 
so that unnecessary words will not be used to convey all this 
information. 

Returning Then, too, it must be remembered that when 
Goods goods are returned by mail the same care in 

explaining the reason for returning them, and 
the description of the articles, must always be included. Le- 
gally, unless otherwise specified, an order for goods closes the 
contract, and as soon as goods are paid for they belong to the 
buyer and he cannot, except at the courtesy of the seller, re- 



104 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Gentlemen: 

Pursuant to a suggestion of Mr. Al- 
bert Long, of the firm of Long, Nichols 
& Co., St. Louis, Mo., and who is an old 

and valued friend of ours, we desire to 
enter into correspondence with your house 
with reference to future business rela- 
tions. 

At present we are handling principal- 
ly hardware and groceries; but contem- 
plate an extension of our line, which will 
embrace much of the various goods handled 
by your firm. 

As to our financial ability and bus- 
iness integrity, we refer you to Messrs. 
Lucas & Ward, wholesale grocers of your 
city, and with whom we have had compara- 
tively extensive and satisfactory deal- 
ings. The firms from which we have hith- 
erto purchased goods, upon hearing of our 
intention to increase our facilities, 
have voluntarily offered us encouragement 
beyond our expectations, and we trust 
that after you shall have thoroughly in- 
vestigated our standing, we may also 
meet with your generous support and co- 
operation. 

All the indications, in this seotion 
of the country, point to a steady in- 
crease of trade for the coming year. If 
the facts, as above set forth, justify 
your favorable consideration, will you 
kindly advise us as to terms and prices, 
making the former as liberal as you pos- 
sibly can, with due regard for your own 
business interests. 

Thanking you in anticipation of an 
early and favorable reply, we are, 

Yours truly, 



MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 105 

turn them for credit or exchange them for other goods. Many 
business houses are glad to make exchanges because, by ex- 
tending this courtesy to their customer, they do much to estab- 
lish their business. 

In turn they appreciate a reasonable excuse on the part of 
the customer for wishing to make the exchange. Mere re- 
quests for exchanges, or expressions to the effect that the 
customer does not want the goods, presume upon the good will 
of the dealer. If possible, therefore, a sound and logical reason 
for returning the goods should always be included in a request 
that goods be exchanged. Even if this reason may not seem 
important to the customer, it must be remembered that busi- 
ness firms like to know why goods are returned. 

In making this exchange, there is always an opportunity 
for the writer of a letter to demonstrate his ability to condense. 
He must arrange the material in his letter so that whatever 
ideas are expressed will not interfere with the real purpose 
of the letter. 

Government In Chapter II we saw the form of a letter used 
Forms by the Government in its correspondence. This 

Help has been carried out by many business cor- 

porations in their detail letters. By placing 
the word "subject," followed by a brief summary of what 
the letter is about, immediately between the complimentary 
address and the salutation, the subject of the letter has been 
made very clear. This has several advantages. When corre- 
spondence is filed the subject of the letter can be ascertained 



Specimen Letter No, 42 

(See preceding page) 
This letter is exceptionally long. The unfortunate part of it is 
that it is long, not because the matter in the letter requires so many 
words, but simply because the writer has stated his message in in- 
volved phraseology. 



10« CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

without reading it. In the ordinary exchange of correspond- 
ence the business man can tell at a glance what the letter is 
about, because its subject is typed clearly at the top. Note 
how easy it is to tell the subject of the specimen letter. 

AVOIDING THE HACKNEYED PHRASE 

Letters The specimen letters in this chapter show the 

Must Be possibilities with regard to actually condensing 

Condensed the ordinary letter. Many letter writers do not 
realize how high sounding and rhetorical their 
letters really are. There is always the danger of making a 
letter too brief and too abrupt. But most letters run to the 

Dear Sir: 

We recently established a grocery 
and hardware business in this locality, 
Mr. Albert Long, of the firm of Long 
Nickols and Company, suggested that we 
get your quotations on merchandise. 

We refer by permission to Messrs. 
Lucas and Ward, and Messrs. Edward Duce 
and Company, who will gladly tell you 
about our credit and integrity. 

Because we are a young firm, we 
would appreciate as liberal terms as 
you can offer. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 43 

This is a simple, direct statement of the ideas which letter No. 42 
attempts to convey. This letter is likely to receive more considera- 
tion because it is simply worded, and because it is easily read. Its 
message is clear, concise and accurate. There can be no doubt as to 
the business-like quality of the firm which writes it. A business-like 
letter is bound to receive business-like consideration. 



MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 107 



Dear Sir : 

We beg to ertate, in answer to you£ 
letter of June 1, that car #234 C. , the 
one in question was shipped April 22, "by 
way of the Santa Fe Railroad and we be- 
lieve the time of its arrival will not 
disappoint you, as its route was traceable 
to within 90 miles of Cincinnati, If you 
do not receive this car by the 8th inst. 
let us know and we shall lose no time in 
recommending judgment against the A. T. & 
S. F. Ry. , at once, for as shipper this 
is our privilege. 

Hoping you will be able to handle 
this matter in a- satisfactory manner to 
yourself, as well as us, and assuring you 
that we will be glad to offer our heartiest 
co-operation, 

We are, 

Yours sincerely, 



Specimen Letter No. 44 

The reason that so many letters are so unnecessarily long lies in 
the fact that they use phrases which are unnecessary, but which 
have become handy by long use. Take this letter: "We beg to state" 
Is unnecessary. The statement is enough. The phrase "the one in 
question" is unnecessary, because the car number and the letter in 
which it was mentioned have both been clearly stated. The abbrevia- 
tion "inst." is never used in modern correspondence. 

The name of the railroad had already been mentioned and the last 
line in paragraph one is unnecessary. The legal side of the question 
is obvious. The last paragraph is one long continued participial end- 
ing. It has little real thought. The whole letter would be improved by 
its omission. 



108 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

other extreme. A letter should be readable regardless of how 
dry the subject itself is. The principles of writing interesting 
and human letters should be strictly followed in any kind of 
letter, whether it is a sales letter or the ordinary detail letter. 

Avoid The participial ending is another thing which 

Participial has been entirely omitted. In writing the detail 
Ending's letter the stock phrases of which we have already 

spoken in another chapter are always a hin- 
drance to clearness, conciseness and force. These phrases in- 
terfere with brevity. To be brief without being abrupt should 
be the aim of the modern business correspondent. 

Such phrases as the following are entirely unnecessary. 
In most cases the point will be absolutely clear without them. 

As stated above, 

We would like to say, 

We would like to inquire, 

Herewith, 

On investigation. 

Dear Sir: 

We have traced car #234 C. to within 
90 miles of Cincinnati. It Was shipped 
April 22, on the Santa Fe. 

If you do not receive this car by 
June 8th, we will commence suit against 
the railway. We shall expect to hear 
from you on that date. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 45 

This is letter No. 44 in simple form. There is danger, of course, 
of making specimen letters like this too brief. The possibilities of 
condensation at least are exemplified. Business-lika letters must do 
away with unnecessary words. 



MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 109 

Such hackneyed phrases as the following should also be 
avoided. Their constant use has made them so stereotyped 
that they always detract from the originality of a letter. 

Beg to advise, 

In reply to your letter, 

Trusting we may be favored, 

We regret to reply, 

We take pleasure, 

Kindly advise, 

By return mail, 

We regret to note. 



Mr. Spague Towns end 

Excelsior, Minnesota 

Subject: Main crank shaft bearings. 

Dear Sir: 

The crank shaft bearings which you 
ordered are temporarily out of stock. We 
axe expecting a shipment from the factory 
by Thursday. Your bearings will be shipped 
by express promptly at that time. 

We> are sorry that you should be in- 
convenienced. 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 46 

This letter illustrates the practice of the Government form when 
applied to everyday business correspondence. Notice that the subject 
of the letter is made very clear by writing the word "Subject," followed 
by a brief statement of the contents of the letter between the address 
and the salutation. 

In such a small letter as this, it is really unnecessary, perhaps, but 
in long letters there is the double advantage of being able to tell the 
contents of the letter without reading it, and also of having the subject 
of the letter readily available in case the letter should be filed. 



110 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

The reader will readily appreciate the many ways in which 
the same idea can be expressed more simply, more directly, and 
more humanly. The word "advise" should be particularly 
avoided. Advise is too often used with a meaning which is 
not its own. If the writer of a letter means by the expres- 
sion, "please advise me/' "please tell me about this/' he 
should use the latter expression. 

"Beg" is another word which is much misused. The busi- 
ness man does not have to beg. If it is necessary for him to 
ask a question, he should ask it directly without formal in- 
troduction and without apology. The combination of these 
two words "beg" and "advise" should be especially avoided, 
because each word is used in a wrong sense. The direct way 
is the efficient way. A business letter's efficiency will be 
judged by its directness. Avoid the roundabout way. 

Making It is not absolutely necessary to mention inelo- 

Inclosures sures except in the body of a letter. Some writers 
prefer to note all inclosures in the lower left-hand 
corner of the page, below the initials of the dictator. This 
is usually done by writing the figure representing the number 
of inclosed checks or papers immediately after the abbrevia- 
tion, thus: 

Incl. 2 

Sometimes the order is reversed, as: 

2 incl. 

Inclosure may be spelled enclosure. The abbreviation is 
also written "inc." or "enc." 



MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE HI 

WRITING TELEGRAMS 

Writing There are a number of precautions that should 

Telegrams always be taken in writing telegrams. Many 
times the responsibility of writing telegrams is 
placed entirely upon the stenographer. Telegrams are ex- 
pensive. Not only must the message be clearly conveyed in 
the fewest words possible, but also must the return wire be 
taken into consideration. Unless absolutely necessary, a tele- 
gram should be worded so that an answer need not be sent. 

The This can usually be done by writing what is 

Alternative known as the Alternative Telegram. This means 
Telegram that a certain situation will be implied if no 

answer is forthcoming. Silence on the part of 
the receiver of a telegram can just as well be construed as a 
reply as not. 

To illustrate : Suppose that a salesmanager wanted to know 
whether a salesman who was on the road intended to go to 
Chicago or St. Louis first. Let us suppose that the salesman 
in question alone knew which city it would be advisable to 
visit first. The salesmanager could not tell him definitely to 
go to either one. 

This would be a poor telegram: 

Wire whether you go to St. Louis or Chicago first. 
This telegram makes a reply necessary, no matter what the 
intention of the salesman is. 

This would be better : 

Wire if you go to Chicago before St. Louis. 

Both telegrams could be sent at the ten-word rate, but the 
second one would save a reply in case the salesman intended 
to go to St. Louis first. This is what is meant by the Alterna- 
tive Telegram. Many dollars would be saved annually if all 
unnecessary wires could be eliminated. 



112 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Take another example. Suppose a man had ordered some 
goods for which he was in a great hurry. If the goods had 
not been shipped he had decided to purchase elsewhere enough 
to last him for a few days. The natural thing would be to 
telegraph something like this: 

Have my goods been shipped? Wire. 

An answer of some kind would have to be sent. A telegram 
which might save a reply would be this one: 

Wire if my goods have not been shipped. 

Avoid A situation like the above offers a special open- 

Ambiguity ing for the ambiguous telegram. Because there 
is the constant effort on the part of the writer 
to condense, many telegrams are written which not only have 
two possible meanings, but which leave the reader in doubt 
as to which meaning is really intended. 

If the writer of the above telegram had desired to save a 
reply if possible, but had said : 

Wire me if my goods have been shipped. 

the telegram would have been ambiguous. The word "if" 
might have meant "whether" to the reader. The wire would 
then have meant this : 

Wire me whether my goods have been shipped. 

The shipper would have immediately sent either a negative or 
an affirmative reply at once. Careless mistakes like this are 
costly, and are inexcusable. Every telegram should be a 
thoughtful composition, and the question of results, as in the 
letter, should always be the final test. 



MAKING THE DETAIL LETTER SIMPLE 113 

Telegrams like these are also likely to be misinterpreted: 

Don't come. Too late. 

Wire if the goods are ready. 

Let him know if his shares are sold. 

An error in punctuation — omitting the period in the first tele- 
gram would entirely change the meaning. "If " is always eas- 
ily confused with "whether." The second telegram would 
therefore be improved by a more definite statement. Pronouns, 
such has "him" and "his" are always likely to be misunder- 
stood. Because the telegram can contain few antecedents, 
names such as "Jones" or "Smith" should be used instead of 
indefinite pronouns. The third telegram would be much more 
definite if this had been done. 



Condensed The message in any telegram should never be 
But so condensed that it is not clear. Because tele- 

Clear grams can be sent at a ten-word minimum rate 

is no reason that clearness should be sacrificed 
just to save a few cents. On the other hand, the wire which 
requires twenty words to express a ten-word message is just 
as extravagant. The principles of condensation should always 
be followed. Be concise, but always be clear. 

Efficiency The simplest letter should be written in the most 
The Aim in efficient manner. The principles of good letter 
View writing should apply to all letters. There 

should not be two forms. The good letter writer 
will not write two kinds of letters. He will not write an ordi- 
nary letter for every day use and a "dressed up" letter for 
special occasions. Every letter should be worthy of his 
signature. 



Chapter XI 
THE FRIENDLY LETTER 

Business The friendly business letter must not be confused 
Quality with the friendly letter of social correspondence. 

Most The fact that a business letter is written between 

Important friends should not detract from its businesslike 
qualities. The failure of those who try to write 
a friendly business letter is due to the fact that their letters 
contain very little of a really business nature. The funda- 
mental object of a business letter is to transact business. Its 
friendly qualities must not interfere with its efficiency as a 
business letter. 



Friendly It is the personal element which makes a letter 
Part friendly. Letters which are too stiff and formal, 

Must Be even though written between friends, sometimes 
Sincere lack this personal element. Little personal para- 
graphs which call up some friendly incident with- 
out seriously interfering with the business at hand may be 
properly included. Whatever is said should be sincerely 
friendly and not put in for effect. 

On the other hand, there is the danger of making a letter 
so friendly that the business matter is relegated to the side- 
lines. The business part of the letter must be kept well in 
the foreground. The tone of the friendly letter can be accom- 
plished with few words. These few words must never inter- 
fere with the matter of business, nor must they have the ap- 
pearance of being merely tacked on to gain a friendly effect. 



THE FRIENDLY LETTER 115 

Irrelevant Most business correspondence is filed. No busi- 
Matter ness man cares to have his files littered with un- 

Interferes necessary matter. If a letter contains important 
business and, in addition, contains a great deal of 
irrelevant matter supposedly of a friendly nature, its value 
for reference purposes is considerably lessened. Every busi- 
ness letter should be so written that its subject matter can 
be readily ascertained. Friendly letters which are too friendly 
are likely to be incoherent. They are not business-like. 

FRIENDLY ADVERTISING LETTERS 

Cheap advertising letters have made capital out of the idea 
of a friendly business letter. Many of these advertisers have 
used form letters which were written in a strictly friendly tone 
to absolute strangers. These letters are cheapening. They 

Dew Prank 7 : 

I think I have in mind a piece of prop- 
erty that will interest you. 

The Pierce Atwater property is for sale. 
Ever since you told me about wishing to lo- 
3ate in town I have been looking around very 
carefully. This property is a bargain. 

It will be useless for me to try to 
describe it but I tbink.it would be worth 
a trip down here. If you think it would be 
of interest to you, wire me, and I will se- 
cure an option. 

Yours Sincerely, 

Specimen Letter No. 47 

Even friendly letters can be condensed. Because a letter is 
friendly is no sign that it should not be business-like. This letter 
written between friends is straight-forward, business-like and brief. 



116 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

cannot be truly sincere. Business letters cannot presume upon 
the friendship of their readers. They are more likely to make 
friends by being straightforward and sincere. 

Do Not Another cheap form of letter is the letter which 

Capitalise is written in a strictly friendly tone between 
Friendship mere acquaintances. No one cares to have his 
friendship capitalized. No one cares to be show- 
ered with various sorts of investment propositions by men who 
are simply passing acquaintances. In short, the friendly letter 
to be a success must be absolutely sincere. If it is sincere it 
is not likely that the friendly portion will interfere with its 
efficiency as judged by the standard of any other business 
letter. 

Dear Mr. Smith: 

Last Wednesday we were talking about 
the possibility of arranging a game between 
our Y. M. C. A. and your Military Aoademy. 

We would like to come down on Saturday, 
the 10th of June. Our expenses for the trip 
would amount to about $50. What guarantee 
oould you make us? 

I think that a game between the two 
teams would be a good drawing card. Our men 
are all in good shape and feel that they can 
put up a good scrap against your basket 
tossers. 

Will you let me know by Wednesday what 
you can guarantee us? 

Yours truly, 

Specimen Letter No. 48 

This letter is of the more informal type of friendly letter. It 
calls attention to a friendly conversation and yet in the same sentence 
gets down to the brass tacks of the business which it has in mind. 



THE FRIENDLY LETTER 117 

The problem of making a letter really friendly and still 
having it truly business-like is difficult, but it must be remem- 
bered that the business side is much more important than its 
friendly phase. The so-called friendly matter which is merely 
tacked on to the letter does a great deal to detract from its 
value. 



Dear Mr. Grow: 

Dr. Atkinson told me that you ex- 
pected to go to the mountains the last of 
this week. 

I wonder if I could persuade you to 
locate a cabin .site for me, somewhere near 
the place where we camped last summer? I 
certainly think that that is the finest 
spot in the whole country. Any site that 
will pass your inspection will certainly 
be satisfactory to me. 

I will gladly pay you for any in- 
convenience that you may experience on 
my behalf. 

Cordially, 



Specimen Letter No. 49 

Of a still more friendly character is this letter. Yet few words 
are used which could at all be construed as unnecessary. The letter 
as a whole has a distinctly friendly tone, and yet as a business letter 
it would bring results. 



Chapter XII 

WHY STUDY CORRESPONDENCE? 

Your pay check depends upon what you can do. If you 
can turn out a hundred dollars' worth of work, your salary 
will adjust itself to that amount of money. If you are only 
doing fifty dollars' worth of work — if that is all you can ac- 
tually earn — that is all the money you should expect to receive. 

Why study business correspondence? Because a stenog- 
rapher's ability is not only dependent upon the speed and ac- 
curacy of taking and transcribing notes, but also upon that il- 
lusive quality known as initiative — the ability to do things 
wthout being told to do them. If you can create letters in- 
stead of merely typing them, you are no longer in the mechan- 
ical, machine-like stenographer class. 

Your position as secretary or stenographer is peculiar. You 
can make your services as valuable to your employer as you 
choose. You can add to his work or you can relieve him of 
much. The most certain thing in the world is this: Just as 
surely as you can increase the amount of work which you can 
take from his hands, just in this proportion is your value, 
stated in dollars and cents, likely to rise. 

Why study business correspondence? Because dictated let- 
ters require a great amount of effort. The subject of the aver- 
age letter can usually be said in one sentence. If you have the 
ability as a stenographer to write some of your employer's 
letters, to create them yourself, you have made yourself a 
valuable factor in his office. 



WHY STUDY CORRESPONDENCE? 119 

Why study business correspondence ? Because you cannot 
write -a good letter unless you can think. Not only must you 
think, but you must think well. If the study of business cor- 
respondence has made you think, it has taught you something 
which you can apply not only to one particular phase of your 
profession, but to everything that you do. 

Why learn to write a sales letter ? Because ninety per cent 
of the positions in the world depend upon the success of sell- 
ing some commodity or service. Unless one works for the Gov- 
ernment or for the schools and similar institutions which are 
under the control of the Government, your position will depend 
upon a sale. Why write a sales letter? Because the cost of sell- 
ing anything has gradually risen. The cost of selling a well- 
known $1500 automobile was recently given as approximately 
one-half of the selling price of the car. Reduce the cost of sell- 
ing anything and you can reduce its price. 

The sales letter is a low-priced salesman if it succeeds. You 
can well afford to put time, energy and thought into a sales 
letter because if it succeeds, its return in dollars and cents is 
far greater than its cost. If you can write successful sales 
letters, you are a producer. 

You can't be a successful and efficient producer unless you 
think. The war has brought home to us the significant fact 
that efficiency must be the keynote of all business. Delays 
have always been expensive, but we are learning today that it 
is not the quick enough method that is worth very much, it is 
the quickest that really counts. 

Then, of course, speed and accuracy must go hand in hand ; 
nothing is ever well done or quickly done which is not done 
accurately. Efficiency simply means getting the best results 
with the least effort. A careful plan and speedy and accurate 
prosecution of the plan are equally important. 



120 CAMPBELL'S COMMERCIAL CORRESPONDENCE 

Even words must not be wasted. The value of being com- 
pelled to write a letter, of being made to form that letter in 
your mind before putting it on paper is a value which doesn't 
stop right there. The ability to express oneself is becoming 
more and more appreciated. The lack of that ability is becom- 
ing more and more inexcusable. 

Why do employers lay so much emphasis on the letter of 
application? Because your ability as a thinker and workman 
can be seen in your letters. Are you willing to be judged by 
your letters ? 

If the study of correspondence has taught you any one of 
these things it has succeeded. Do you think it has ? 



List of 
Specimen Letters 



LIST OP SPECIMEN LETTERS 

APPLICATION NUMBER PAGE 

Simple Form 25 75 

. Better Form 26 77 

Forceful 27 78 

General 28 79 

Individual 29 80 

BUYING 

Brief 11 40 

Duplicate Order 12 41 

COLLECTION 

Collection Series No. 1 30 85 

Collection Series No. 2 31 86 

Collection Series No. 3 32 87 

Collection Series No. 4 33 88 

Collection and Sales 34 90 

COMPLAINT 

Detailed 35 93 

Poor 36 94 

Polite 37 95 

Answers to 

Wrong 38 96 

Right 39 98 

Direct 1 16 



DETAIL NUMBER PAGE 

Poor Inquiry 40 102 

Good Inquiry 41 103 

Too Long 42 104 

Condensed 43 106 

Involved 44 107 

Simple 45 108 

Government Form 46 109 

Full Military 2 18 

Inquiry 3 19 

Introductory 7 24 

Verbose 8 31 

ENVELOPES 

Block 4 21 

Indented 5 22 

Four Line 6 23 

FORM 

Block 1 16 

Military 2 18 

Typed Heading 3 19 

Letter Head 7 24 

Poorly Paragraphed 9 33 

Well Paragraphed 10 36 

Government j 46 109 

FRIENDLY 

Condensed 47 115 

Informal 48 116 

Informal 49 117 



SALES NUMBER PAGE 

Direct 13 50 

Indirect 14 51 

Detail 15 55 

Poor Advertising 16 60 

Good Advertising 17 61 

Special Advertising 18 63 

Follow-up Series No. 1 39 64 

Follow-up Series No. 2 20 65 

Follow-up Series No. 3 21 66 

Follow-up Series No. 4 22 67 

Brief Advertising 23 68 

General 24 70 






i 



